Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Yoga Ninja

I just did a practice teaching yoga session on my web cam so I can see what I actually look like since the studio has no mirrors.

I look okay. Ish.

I should have worn a bra so I can share it with you all though. Calvin the cat is in every second of the 25 minute video, snaking his body under mine in upward facing dog and playing with the ties of my shorts in downward dog. As I'm in forward fold, he's behind me, scratching the fuck out of my $80 mat. As I'm in headstand, he's chewing on my ears.

Our grand finale came when he reached out and punctured my finger while I was in twisting triangle, making me scream, "OW!" as I fell out of it and the video ends as I swat at him and rant about what a fucking fucker he is, holding my bloody finger away from the keyboard as I try to hit stop.

This is my destiny, people. Not to be a yoga teacher, but to be a Youtube star whose attempts at inner peace are thwarted by her bastard cat.

So from now on, undergarments while recording.


Jamie said...

Which cat is the bastard?

Unknown said...

Calvin this time but they both are, really. Dom keeps getting out and spending the night outside, even though he's an indoor cat, and he's ripped a screen doing it. Calvin is trashing the Christmas tree on an hourly basis and likes to climb up my legs while I'm in yoga pants, which ruins them.

I love them both but they are ruining everything. All of the time.

Jesse said...

This seriously cracked me up. I appreciate your liberal use of the f-word. *DYING*