Thursday, December 5, 2013

Condiment Confusion

I picked up Wendy's last night since I suck at cooking.

"Can I get some ketchup?" I asked the cashier.

"Can I see some ID?" He replied.

I was instantly confused, my mind started racing. Wait, where was I? No, there's no beer at Wendy's, am I in trouble? No, he's not the boss of me, what is going on here? Fuck this. Do I have ketchup at home? I stared at him blankly while I worked all of this out.

"I'm kidding," he said, with a slightly skeptical, you're-a-real-fucking-weirdo kind of look on his face.

"Ha ha...ha. Phew. Sorry about that, it's a little late for jokes." 

It was 6 p.m.

Another one of my finest moments.


Molly M. said...

Not to interrupt your stories...I like all of them, but WHERE IS YOUR ELF?! I so look forward to his antics!

Lisa said...

Hahahahahahahaha.......that could be me! But my real fame lies in how I give an inane but hopefully appropriate response when I don't hear what someone has said, but I don't want to admit it or ask them to repeat. Then, after they've looked at me strangely and walked away, I realize I laughed in response to, "Oh sad...Nelson Mandela died today."

Unknown said...

That is terrible and hilarious, Lisa!! I do that too, though. I manage the social media account for a really cool, beautiful yoga teacher with a thick Colombian accent. She must think I'm totally insane because I'm completely guessing on my responses to 95% of whatever she says. I realized the other day after I got home that she asked me the same question three different times and I did it all three times, never managing to answer. LOL! No idea why she likes me.

Molly...I have a lot to say about that. Big sigh here. Last year was Harold was transferred to the mail room and mail room elves aren't dispatched until later. This year there might be even MORE mail!! Or maybe he'll get lost on the way.