2010 Reading List

I wanted to do a best book of the year wrap-up post about all of the books I read this year and which were best and why but all of a sudden there's only hours left of 2010 and I have things to do.

So, without much fanfare, I'm going to say that The Art of Racing in the Rainwas by far the best book I read this year (and you can see the full list in my side bar). It was a clever, beautifully written, witty, poignant (I rarely use that word; I'm being serious here, people) story that I never wanted to read in the first place. My hairdresser told me about it and I thought it sounded dumb, I read the description and I thought it sounded dumb, I downloaded it from the library onto my Nook one day and couldn't pull myself away. It made me laugh and cry and think in good ways.

I LOVED this book. I didn't like this book, I LOVED this book and I wish I could make every single one of you read it.

I also really liked The Help When I started it, I thought it was going to be cheesy and gimmicky with the Southern dialect and going back and forth between characters but it was well written, enjoyable and important. It would have gotten 2nd place on my 2010 list that will never be.

Most important book I read this year was Zeitoun It's a true story that I can't believe we all don't already know.

My least favorite book was probably Between the Assassinations I thought it was boring and didn't really go anywhere.

And that's our 2010 Reading List Wrap Up.

I hope you all have a Happy New Year!

The Christmas Story

I don't know what little kid did to piss off the Baby Jesus, but he got the stomach flu for Christmas. It was one of the most pathetic sights I'd ever seen; he plodded out to the Christmas tree on Christmas morning, took in the miraculous sight of all of those presents....and fell on his knees and started dry heaving and gagging. And then he barfed. Poor guy had to open up his gifts with a puke bucket next to him.

Regardless, it was a magical Christmas.

Around 5:30 a.m. I heard thumps, scraping and paper crinkling from the family room. Certain that Big Kid had woken up and was investigating or the grinch himself had come to steal Christmas (because a feverish little kid was next to me in bed speaking in tongues about Santa, so I knew it wasn't him), I got up and crept out of my room.

There was Big Kid, lit softly from the glow of the Christmas lights, looking impossibly tall in his new pajamas and holding a plastic grocery bag full of his own carefully wrapped gifts that he was thoughtfully arranging under the tree. He turned and saw me, eyes glossy and cheeks flushed with excitement and motioned toward the Christmas tree full of gifts, telling me that Santa had already come and that he couldn't believe he had forgotten to put his gifts to us under the tree the night before.

I think it will go down in history as one of my favorite Christmas memories; that among all of those brightly wrapped new things for him, he was thinking about his gifts to us and was excited to contribute to the pile of presents.

I forced him to go back to bed with me but after 5 minutes of him rigidly lying next to me and disturbing the quiet with his occasional excited whisper, I told him to go lie on the couch and read something from his stocking for 20 minutes or so and then to get back into bed. He scampered off happily.

I woke again an hour later, noticing that he was not back in bed and found him stuck in a kitchen bar stool.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm stuck in this bar stool. But read this stuff Harold left!" he answered, waving excitedly to our elf satisfaction survey, behavior summary report and the note on the kitchen island in front of him.

"You're stuck??" I tried to tug on him from behind but he was indeed stuck. "How long have you been stuck?"

"Ah, 5 minutes, maybe? But read the stuff, mom!"

"Were you going to call for me? I feel bad that you're stuck."

"I was going to call for you, but later. I know you're tired. Read the stuff." It took some wriggling and pulling but I did manage to free him from the bar stool and kept him quiet for one more hour until it was a reasonable time for present opening (if you can call 7:30am a reasonable time for present opening).

The kids loved their gifts; even poor little kid who stayed curled up on the couch, too sick to play with any of his toys. At one point he told me, "When I think of the presents you got for me, it makes me feel warm in my heart." That made me feel so warm in my heart. It made the sub-human conditions at Toys R Us worth all of the trouble.

They were also extremely proud of what they had gotten me. Big Kid bought me a singing snowman figure and a clip-on light.

"This will be perfect for my Nook!" I exclaimed over the light.

"Oh, I didn't even think of that! I saw you could clip it to your clothes or your car visor and I thought you could use that to have light wherever you went but it would be good for your Nook too!"  (To his future spouse--I apologize for the practical presents in your future.)

little kid bought me a set of soap and lip gloss and swoons over how pretty I smell every time I get out of the shower, pumping me for information on how enjoyable the shower was and if it was the soap he bought that made it so wonderful.

They are grateful and generous little souls.

There was brief sadness over Harold's departure but he left a note that said:

"Love you guys lots, but it's time to go. Don't forget about me and have fun in the snow. A Merry Christmas to you, all smiles, no tears, and please do not worry for I'll be back next year! (Like it or not, mom!) Laughter and Love, Harold Hubert Piggybottom."

Big Kid was relieved to hear he'd be returning. He had left Santa a note that said:

Dear Santa,
Thank you for bringing Harold. I really had fun with him. Can you keep me a promise??? Please bring Harold back next year. I liked Harold.

Love,
Big Kid

P.S. Don't spank Harold for the potty jokes. 

and yesterday wrote Harold a note that said:

Dear Harold,

I hope you have a good new year. I will always remember December 1st, 2010.

Your Harold Liker,
Big Kid

P.S. I'm liking that marble set.

Big Kid rated Harold a 3 out of 5 on the elf satisfaction survey. He may love Harold, but won't rate him more than average. His sense of honesty just won't allow it.


Harold did leave them a marble run set (120 pieces--thanks a freaking lot, Harold!) and a big pile of snow. Pretty magical for Florida kids:

 On Harold's last days, he:

 Drove the pedal car.

 Sent a personalized message from Santa.

 Watched a movie called "Elf Bowling"

 Covered the tree in new underwear. 

 

and wore a Christmas sweater for Christmas Eve. He looks good, doesn't he?

And Christmas in my Christmas-crazy neighborhood? Was breathtakingly magical. Everyone lined the streets with luminaries and there was singing, and outdoor fires (not from the luminaries, fun and safe outdoor fires that were there on purpose), and even a 10 piece brass band. It made me understand why they are all so Christmas-crazy. 

 

And that concludes Christmas. 

Although it was magical, I'm kind of glad that it's over.

Christmas Donkey

Here is my Christmas donkey: 

Yes, seriously. He was way cuter than the Baby Jesus or any of the supporting cast. He was also amazingly well behaved and didn't do the donkey dance he invented to combat the boredom he felt when other people sang. I personally thought the donkey dance was funny and was hoping to see it but he did the right thing and that's what counts. I guess.

Here he is with his manager/security guy, who was pretty darn proud and who presented him with a donkey Webkinz. 

The show was total uncontrolled chaos, by the way, and the pastor managed to convince me that I'm doing the right thing by not going to church each Sunday.

2nd Grade Love

Big Kid and Mr. Ashley were in the other room when I heard, "Dad? A girl in my class fell in love with me 'cuz I was wearing a black and white shirt. Is that possible?"

"Anything's possible with girls!" Mr. Ashley answered, "That sounds about right."

"Who fell in love with you?" I shouted from the  bedroom.

He appeared in my door way. "Ava. She just really likes black and white shirts, I guess."

"And what do you think about that?" I asked, inwardly cringing because Ava is NOT future daughter-in-law material. She is one of the few who doesn't give a crap about her time tests and is really not Big Kid's type.

He took a moment to ponder that. "I think it's...strange? To love someone for their shirt? And now do I keep wearin' that shirt or stop wearin' that shirt? I just don't know."

"Well, you do look really good in that shirt."

"Yeah...I don't understand how girls fall in love though."

And you never will, I wanted to answer.

But I'll let him discover that mystery for himself.

Harold Hubert Piggybottom Days 13-19

So, Harold Hubert Piggybottom is still with us. We're getting down to the last week of his visit and there is some major anxiety about his departure. I have made sure the kids know that if we're excessively sad about him leaving, we may not be chosen to host an elf next year--so we better not be crying on Christmas morning about the elf going home. (I didn't predict this being a problem...but now I know.)

Anyway, Harold has:

Brushed his teeth in their bathroom. 

Gone horseback riding.

Stuffed himself into the Christmas village bridge to watch the snowman. 

Climbed our globe to see the North Pole. 

Had some cookies and milk. 

(Big Kid was a little irked that he had helped himself to cookies but I thought we should let it go since he is our guest and we don't ever feed him.)

Hung from the kitchen lights. 

(Hey, he can't come up with some creative tableau each and every night of the holiday season, sometimes hanging around is enough.)

And this morning he brought us a Peanuts nativity. We were all pretty excited about this because we love Charlie Brown.

In other Christmas related news, a friend drove through our community to see the lights and said neighbors of mine were dressed as elves in their front yard, with their elf children dancing around a fire. The traffic is completely insane right now and it sounds like a block party every single night with shouted Merry Christmases and caroling.

I told you these people were really crazy about Christmas!

Harold Hubert Piggybottom: Days 4-12

I'm sorry I fell off the wagon in reporting Harold Hubert Piggybottom the Christmas elf's shenanigans. He's been quite busy; in fact, I think he's starting to look a little bit tired. I bet next year the Christmas elves get dispatched much closer to Christmas--it's a long time to be away from home and so active.

So to get us caught up, Harold:

Decorated a miniature Christmas tree! Big Kid was not impressed that Tinkerbell was present and predicted that Harold was always going to be doing things with dumb ol' Tinkerbell from now on and thought that would be gross and boring. Luckily, Harold proved him wrong and stopped the womanizing.

 Played army men! We were particularly impressed that he was wearing GI Joe's camo pants and helmet. GI Joe wasn't looking so happy about it though and is probably still naked.

 Hung from the ceiling fan! That night Big Kid called me in excitedly to point out that with the light on, the shadow Harold made looked exactly like a reindeer. I was doubtful--but then I could totally see what he was talking about! Real live Christmas magic there.

 Went fishing! little kid loved this one, especially since Harold used a real sharp hook. It was a safety pin but I guess the danger factor was impressive to little kid. He was also thrilled to see that he had caught one.

Brought chocolates! And made a mess out of wrapping paper. Harold does not magically clean up the messes that he magically makes, which is pretty annoying of him.

 

Made snow angels! Out of flour. The same day I vacuumed. little kid had just been talking about snow angels earlier that day though and was impressed that Harold was listening. 

 Joined us for breakfast! Harold brought his own little bowl of cereal and milk and toast. He also had a teensy black fly in his spoon.

 Read How the Grinch Stole Christmas! Later that night Big Kid carefully slid it from underneath Harold's hands to read it to little kid.

 So, things were going pretty well with Harold until yesterday when they found him hanging on the advent calendar. Everyone was pretty unimpressed with his creativity for that morning...until Big Kid opened the #12 drawer and found mini toilet plungers, toilet paper rolls and pieces of fake poo!! Isn't that horrible?!? What kind of elf is this? Big Kid wanted to hang him on the dart board and throw darts at him but I think we need to report it to Santa. What if he pulls this kind of behavior in the house of a toddler? little kid thinks it's funny and hopes we can get Harold back next year.

 Big Kid and I aren't so sure.