The other day we watched a video on Facebook of friends' kids as they opened an envelope and revealed the gender of their new baby. After much discussion of what their lives would be like with a new baby brother, little kid started asking questions about babies (and I HATE these kinds of questions):
"Where did she buy 'at baby brudder? How do you buy a baby boy for you's tummy?"
"Hmmmm. I am not sure," I said, not in the mood to get into it right then.
"How don't you know?"
"Did she say she bought the baby? I can't remember. I don't really know anything about buying boy babies," I answered almost truthfully.
"I'm gonna aks her," he promised. I ignored him because I hope he won't. And again, I wasn't in the mood for a big discussion right then (and to be fair, I spend 90% of his waking hours engaged in a never ending, all day long conversation with him. I talk all.day.long, like it or not, even when I'm in the bathroom.)
"I think she's gonna be pretty shocked," he continued.
"Shocked at what? Asking where she got her baby? Please don't do that, it's kind of rude."
"No--here's the shocking part...that baby's got to get out of his mom's tummy! That's pretty shocking."
Although we were going down a path I knew I didn't want to go down, I laughed and agreed that it was shocking.
"Were you shocked?" he asked.
"Yes. You could definitely say I was shocked."
"See? I told you."
And then, amazingly, the conversation was over.
And that's how not to talk to your kids about sex, folks!