Thursday, September 8, 2011

The Ugly Seagull

So, I had settled in really nicely with this whole stay-at-home mom thing (especially now that the kids are gone all day). The laundry couch is a long lost memory, my finger and toe nails are painted weekly, I go to the gym regularly, I grocery shop with a list and without yelling at people like a crazed maniac, I go to stores if I want to...and wait for this one, if you're not already gagging you're about to...I do crafts. Ugh. I should be so ashamed, it's disgusting. I'm the very woman I used to enjoy making fun of!

But God looked down upon all of this contentment and was like, "What the hell happened here? How is she so happy? Has she finally just accepted her unemployed, non-real estate owning, broke-ass, rudderless lot in life? Did she forget that I gave her dad cancer? Someone hand me her snowglobe so I can shake this shit up, this cannot be."

(I wasn't there, but this is how I picture that it went down. And for the record, I'm back to believing in God again and have been very faithful about it. I even comprehend the Jesus thing better now and was fully embracing accepting the whole deal as-is despite some of my former doubts. I've even been praying nightly, and for people other than myself. So we should be good, I think.)

So He got in touch with our landlord and our landlord called and said that the job interview he was so sure he got...he wasn't so sure he got now. And he wanted his house back if not. By October 1st (when our lease ended but we were all under the understanding it would be extended.)

So that sucked but my brain just said, "Okay, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming," like Dory does in Finding Nemo because it is very good advice. Enthusiastically I stated, "That's alright! Home is where WE are! We will find something else!" until I looked everywhere and found NOTHING else. Nothing that would accept our 2 dogs.

I had to decide if we were the type of people who would put our 13 year old German Shepherd to sleep (because who would want an ancient dog with a bad leg?) and find another home for our weiner dog. Who is a punk but he is our punk. It turns out, we are not those kind of people. But we are also not homeless kinds of people, so that was extremely stressful.

We had seen one very weird little house in a great neighborhood. It smelled bad and it was ugly. It wanted to be a beach cottage when it grew up but I think the definition of beach cottage changed in the last 60 years. It was 5 minutes from the beach, in one of the best school zones in the state and was very inexpensive. But did I mention it was weird and smelled really bad? If I had to name this house I would call it the Ugly Seagull.

So in desperation I told Mr. Ashley to take me back to the smelly house. He did not want to. I insisted and since the owner left it unlocked and gave us permission, we went inside again. It had been painted and smelled less. Its high pitched beamed ceilings and the entire back of the house being glass made it feel light and airy. It has all tile floors. Its screened back porch is enormous. It only had 2 bedrooms but they were each set up as a master and were fairly spacious. I kind of liked it. Its ugly became quirky and its little became quaint. Its price and school zone became very tempting. It is odd but so are we and frankly, I'm past caring.

We called the owner and he said we could have it whenever and do whatever and he's owned it forever and never plans on moving to it or selling it (and it's really too ugly to sell in today's market anyway but he didn't say that). Mr. Ashley was still reluctant but I was looking up Pottery Barn beach-like decor and getting excited about the proximity of Target. Also, my neighbor is driving me fucking crrrrrrrrrazy lately. That's another post but that situation is full on out of control and she just refuses to not be friends. I had to tell her FOUR times today that I did not want to and was not going to take a walk with her today. No is NOT an answer to her. She calls me every day and doesn't stop if I don't answer or return her call.

So we were going over to the Ugly Seagull tonight to sign the lease and even Mr. Ashley started to see the appeal, we were excited. He called our current landlord just to give him a head's up and he said that the position he interviewed for hasn't been filled yet, that he knows it's between him and one other guy, and that he thought he would know by Saturday. And for us please not to leave.

And I look at my lovely kitchen with the pot-filling faucet over the stove and think of the amazing neighborhood hoopla around Christmas and Halloween and how much we like walking to school, and the thought of not moving to a weird, ugly, smelly little house is very tempting. But the Ugly Seagull has grown on me and I'd also be a little sad not to move there, oddly enough.

Our current landlord called back in a panic and offered to refund the cost of whatever deposit we put on the Ugly Seagull if he did get this job offer. I guess the good news is that we won't be homeless, the bad news is that either our house will be small and strange or I'll continue having my stalker neighbor calling me every single day and being all up in my business.

So I guess I'm in limbo (and I HATE that) and will just have to trust that God has a plan (and accept that He just cannot stand any plans I may make for myself.)

But I'd rather be back to painting my toe nails and watching Maury from the treadmill.


Auntie A said...

Girl - If your current landlord is such an asshole that he would not give you more than a month's notice that he wants his house back, then it may be time to ditch him anyway. If you do decide to stay, make him lower your rent - tell him you would be willing to stay but that other house is such a deal that you may not be able to pass it up - you may just come out a winner all around - keep the pretty house and get it for a cheaper rent!! Hope it all works out for you :-)

Renee said...

That sounds stressful! You have a great attitude about it all though - home is indeed where the family is. :)

I thought you were going to say that a dream job offer fell into your lap and you were like "Damn, I was really getting into this stay-at-home-mom thing". And I was going to reply "OMG, the same thing just happened to me! Crazy!" But you didn't say that. (But it did kinda sorta happen to me this week - the job didn't fall in my lap but there is an opportunity and it sounds awesome but I didn't want to go to work right away!)

We need to chat! Or I will email you an update through Facebook maybe. Talk to you soon!

-The Renee

clare said...

I think the Ugly Seagull sounds kind of cool. I think I would take temporarily smelly and small over the crazy neighbor. Is this the same Lexus lady? Love your blog!

Anonymous said...

Hmm, let's see. Would you rather be jerked around by a landlord who doesn't know which way is up (do those kinds ever get better jobs?) and a neighbor whom you want to say, "Up yours!" Or do you move to a small beach house where the boys will have to share a room and from whom you will probably never hear the end of THAT? Hmm, is a better school district worth it? At least the (new) landlord sounds laid back. You decide. --Sue in MA

JT said...

Moving sucks, no question. And not knowing sucks worse. Hope it all works out in the easiest- and best- way.

Caren Drink said...

I lived in an ugly seagull. It was affordable with a peek a boo ocean but it was dirty and dark and I had a bad attitude about it. Luckily DH saw past the grime and realized the potential in the location and bones and the landlord who didn't give a rats ass what color we painted the walls or that we ripped up all the carpets and refinished the hardwoods glossy cherry. We would still live in that happy little loft if it was big enough for a family. I say take a risk, if you feel comfortable moving the boys schools. Life is short, and it sounds like the Ugly Seagull could be a really special place. Mine was.

Julie H said...

The Ugly Sea Gull sounds kind of nice :)

LindaB said...

I feel like I should say sorry or congrats about all of this but I'm not sure...yet. I hope all works out for the best for your family anf no matter what, it'll make for good blogging! I have so many of these weird stalker people and I don't know what to do with them so I look forward to more posts to see how you handle it, lmao.

jackie said...

If you're lucky, the Ugly Seagull's only problem is nasty old carpeting. That's a lot of the smell in beach houses.

Fingers crossed for you!

Unknown said...

The boys already share a room now and they love it. I use the threat of having their own rooms as a punishment. We have a 4 bedroom now and barely use 2 of the rooms so we'll probably be okay. The new house is also all tile, the smell comes from being old and vacant for a while. I think with some paint and bleach it will be better.

Clare, this is the Lexus lady and I'll be glad to be free of that.

Renee, we need to talk!