Big Kid: Dude, stop torturing me, bro.
little kid: 'at's my job! I'm the little brudder and my job is to torture you.
Big Kid: And you know what, little kid? I'm the big bro and my job is to look out for you and be nice to you and help make sure you grow up good--and look what I get for it! I get tortured by YOU.
little kid: I'm not quittin' my job. I do what I want. I want to torture you, bro, so I will.
Big Kid: And that's why I'm going to grow up to have a good job and a nice wife and 3 beautiful kids and you'll be in prison. That's what you'll have, dude, jail.
(And Big Kid has never even heard the "College fund for one, bail fund for the other" joke, so he came to this conclusion on his own.)
little kid: A course I'll have jail, bro. I'm gonna be a scuba diver cop--so I'll be's takin' peoples to jail. Cops don't gots to be in jail though.
He looked triumphant and Big Kid looked concerned.
And I had to clarify that yes, cops can go to jail, and then their roles reversed and Big Kid was triumphant and little kid was concerned.