"Mom, you know what?"
"What? No...wait. I'm sorry but, you know, you could just start the story -- "
"That's what I'm trying to do."
"I mean without starting it with a question. It would save some time."
"I don't have a question, I'm trying to tell you something."
"Okay. Right. Yes. What?"
"You know what happened today?"
"You did it again. I don't want to say 'what' again, just tell the story."
"If you'd stop interrupting, I would."
No. I don't know what. I don't know what happened today. I probably don't want to either. There's a 85% chance this story is going to involve something someone said on YouTube and will last long enough for me to contemplate my own mortality; let's just get the show on the road here.