Sunday, November 6, 2011

Humpty Dumpty

While watching me paint my nails on the back porch, little kid stacked up all of the cushions and created one precarious pile on top of one of the porch benches, which he then climbed so he could sit on top.

"If I fell off a here, I'd crack my head open," he announced.

"Yes, you might." I answered, just trying to paint my freaking nails.

"Then would I die?"

"I don't know, I could maybe take you to the hospital and they could sew your head back together. But that would hurt. I would just get down."

"You'd have to take me to a 'opsital 'cuz you can't sew, right?"

"Right. Not someone's head up."

"But...not at all, really. Right? You's can't sew a dress," he sounded kind of sad or maybe disappointed in me.

"Right, I can't sew a dress."

"So you can't sew at all."

"No, not really."

"So, I'd have a better chance of dying 'cuz you couldn't sew me up and would have to drive me to a 'opsital? A better chance than someone's mom who sews."

"I guess so. That's why you should get down."

"I'm thinkin' you should learn to sew. My grandma can sew."

"Maybe you should live there, she could sew you back up if you fell."

"I'm just gonna get down from up here. You could probably sew if you tried."

Probably not.

9 comments:

Mom Taxi Julie said...

My grandma can sew.

Too funny :)

Amanda said...

Well I see that you read Martha Stewart's book....Did she not teach you to sew? Shame on her for not putting that in the book?

Sasha said...

mwahhhh.......

Hope you are using Seche Vite to dry those nails super-fast. I have found it's only safe to paint my nails after I have put W and R to bed. And that gives me about 40 minutes before I myself need to go to bed. Thanks to Seche Vite, that's not a problem.

Hey, just noticed you read Heaven is for Real. Opinions? Someone gave it to me and I am pondering making it the first non-child-raising-and-parenting-kids-with-strange-issues book I have read in almost 8 years. What do you think??????

Ashley said...

Sash, Heaven is for Real was good and sweet and short. That and "Same Kind of Different as Me" seriously boosted my hope and faith this year (although I'm still iffy on everything, but I'm more open to trying). I would recommend both to you.

Amanda, if little kid dies from a cracked open head, I am completely blaming Martha. 800-some pages and she didn't get around to sewing?? (Or did I skip that part? Can't remember...)

Ashley said...

Oh and Sash, I bought some Seche Vite based on your recommendation but I got a sparkly-ish one that claimed to be clear and it is kind of gloppy. I have been using Chi clear polish until I break down and get some clear Seche Vite.

Sasha said...

Sparkly SV? I'll need to see a pic of that! Definitely get the clear- it's a life-changer. Yes, I have an empty life.

Melissa said...

Oh, lordy. These are the kind of conversations I have with my daughter that make my head spin (in and exorcist kind of way)...though I know in many years I'll look back on them wistfully.

Anonymous said...

Don't learn to sew. Those sewing/costuming bi%$ches are crazy. I know - I'm trapped in a room full of them for 3 more weeks. Kerry

Lin said...

That is one funny ass kid! This totally had me cracking up for a good 10 minutes -->
"So, I'd have a better chance of dying 'cuz you couldn't sew me up and would have to drive me to a 'opsital? A better chance than someone's mom who sews."