The other day when Mr. Ashley had to get off the phone, I said, "Fine, whatever! Bye!" (and maybe I called him a turd face, but I feel bad admitting that now. So let's give me the benefit of some doubt because maybe I didn't.)
"What was that about?" Big Kid asked.
"Daddy was in the middle of working out and couldn't talk to me."
"Why'd you get with dad anyway, mom?"
Feeling horrible and thinking Big Kid somehow thought I wasn't happy with his dad, I said, "I love your dad! I got with him because...because I've always loved him since the day I met him. We're perfect for each other. We were friends for a little while but everyone knew we loved each other and we did. He's nice and sweet and he takes good care of...."
"For his obs. He's got to keep those obs up by working out."
"His...? Wait, do you mean 'abs'?" I asked, stifling a snort.
"Yes! His abs! That's what attracted you, that's why he has to work out!"
I laughed so hard. Then I set the story straight. "No, it was his shoulders."
"His shoulders?! Are you serious right now?"
"Actually I am. That's where the love at first sight thing came in. His broad shoulders."
"Now that's just weird."