Monday, February 27, 2012

Things to Know

little kid just asked me, "Mom, what would happen if you's was parachutin' from an airplane, like one flyin' up in the air, and jumped into the eye of a tornado....wearing a metal suit, like knights did?"

"Seriously? You are asking me what would happen if someone went skydiving into a tornado wearing a suit of armor?"


How could I know that, people? This is the kind of stuff I have to answer all day long. I'm interrupted from important tasks to discuss the impossible. His mouth is moving from the moment his eyes open until the moment they close, so I guess the impossible has to work its way in there just to fill in blank spaces. Sometimes I answer these insane inquiries but sometimes I simply don't have the energy or patience. I had no acceptable answer for the tornado question; I guess the person would die but that doesn't seem like good information to pass on (unless he's planning on parachuting into the eye of a tornado wearing a suit of armor...)

The other day on the ride to school I was having a moment of tenderness and getting all sentimental on them.

"You guys know I love you, right? You make my life so happy every day and I feel so lucky to be your mom. My life has been so much better since having you two. You are so important to me, and such good people,  I don't think you'll ever know how much I love you both and what you've given me just by being here!"

"Aww, I love you too, mom," said Big Kid. There was a moment of silence (a rarity) and I thought everyone was soaking in all of the love and good vibes. Then little kid said, "Mom?"


"I got to tell you somethin'." (Because everything requires an elaborate set up that needs no less than three replies before we get to the actual point.)

"Okay," I responded, still feeling all warm and fuzzy, kind of hopeful it would be a return declaration of love.

"There's no such thing as Bigfoot. It's either a guy in a monkey costume or just a weird, tall monkey."


"Little kid!! How on earth is that relevant??" Big Kid asked in disgust. "She's sittin' here tellin' us all about how much she loves us and you're talking about Big Foot. That makes no sense at all. Why are you bringing that up?"

"I just wanted you guys to know that. Since we was talkin' about stuff we wanted other people to know."

I guess he has a point.

But he always has a point.


Anonymous said...

This was just too funny! I laughed out loud at least three times. Thank you!


Mom said...

that is exactly how I have always felt about my kids. I treasured every moment of their lives, I, too, gave birth to my best friends and had a ball with them growing up. So, remember that when I call too much!

erin said...

LOL. please write a book.

Anonymous said...

HA! That sounds like a convo between my 8 year old daughter and 4 year old son. Too funny!

Kelley said...

Ahh....The What If Game....we've been playing that one for years with my now tweenage boys. The possibilities are endless....and exhausting.

clare said...

I have one just like that. Mine asks lots of questions involving lava, injury, and death.

LB said...

Is that Big Kid in the National Realty commercials? It sure looks like him. It's the one with the kid and grandpa sitting on the steps of the porch.

Anonymous said...

One of the most interesting parts of having kid is probably the moment he or she will start asking you a strange questions. :D Greets check in report london

Unknown said...

Haha, no, he's not in any commercials that I know of. Now I'm curious to see the commercial though.

Julie said...

I just spit out a little of my coffee. Awesome kids!

Stephanie said...

I laughed so hard I cried. Awesome!