I called a friend while the kids were in the car the other day and left a short message regarding a baby shower.
"What's a baby shower?" little kid asked when I hung up.
"It's a party for people about to have a baby where you shower the new mommy with all of the gifts she'll need to take care of a baby!"
"Wow! What's the shower part?"
I knew he was imagining bassinets and baby swings being dropped from above on a pregnant lady and I almost let that ride.
"That's just what the party is called. You just give the mom the gifts, nicely and normally."
"Pretty sure I'm adopting babies," said Big Kid. "You know, since I don't like the idea of...sex." He whispered the last word, unintentionally emphasizing it by hissing it through clenched teeth.
"One day you'll like the idea." I promised. "But I'm fine with you adopting."
"Oh, I'm havin' some babies! Definitely!" little kid swore with enthusiasm. "But I'm havin' a baby shower first! I might have lots of babies," he added with a calculated gleam in his eyes.
Wait until he finds out you only get a shower for the first one.