Friday, November 9, 2012

Longest Week Ever

little kid has been home sick for 4 days this week.

I feel bad for him and all but between daylight savings time, the election and its aftermath on Facebook (holy drama, Batman!), and 4 straight days of Survivorman and questions about dipping swords in lava among other things...short of bleeding out of an orifice he was going to school today.

What was sweet (and annoying) was that all day every day he would ask when his brother was coming home and missed him terribly. He'd wait at the front door as the bus pulled up and would wrestle him into a hug and try to kiss him (which Big Kid enthusiastically avoided due to germs and bad breath).

He'd beg him to cuddle him during a movie or sit close to him so he could sling his arm across his shoulders.

And then, within about 15 minutes, he'd start torturing him. I just don't get it! It's really rowdy, crazy stuff too. Big Kid has broken down the most frequent little kid characters for me:

1.) The clown that gives bears flu shots. This is my favorite because it's so insane but it's also the most annoying because the bear (Big Kid, he's a grizzly. He does not want to be a bear at all, though) HATES flu shots. And the flu shots are violent and the whole thing is very boisterous. This poor bear needs about 25 flu shots a day, too.

2.) The crazy old lady who loves dogs. I don't understand this one but Big Kid both loves and hates it and it makes our dog nervous. I don't think she's as physically aggressive as the clown that gives flu shots but it gets Big Kid riled up every time, usually mostly with laughter.

3.) The German rap guy. That's how Big Kid explains it but I'd say it's more like a weird Nazi impression of Jersey Shore. Hilarious and very strange, again often ends in violence.

4.) The nasty punk. This is his rudest, meanest self with a weird voice. The whole persona infuriates Big Kid immediately because of the bad manners and the ridiculousness.

He also likes to pretend Big Kid is a squirrel. I thought this was funny for a while and confirmed that he was adopted from a squirrel family but it really upsets Big Kid, so I stopped participating. I now insist that he's NOT a squirrel because despite it being super funny, I think we're over it.little kid will probably swear to his dying day that Big Kid is a squirrel. This is one of our biggest arguments lately.

Anyway, that's what I'm dealing with.

So today I'm going to get my hair done and go visit Catfish's brand new baby and watch reruns of Project Runway and he's his teacher's problem.


Sasha said...

Mr. Sasha and I were talking on the phone about our weekend plans, and then I pulled up your blog, and got so into this post (sorry little kid was ill) that now I have no idea if I am supposed to pick up beer or not on my way home because I was so distracted. I suppose I will, because, hell, whoever heard of too much beer?

Robin said...

I really wish we could see videos of these characters because I think they would be hilarious!!

Unknown said...

Robin, I'll have to see if I can sneak some video some day, it is hilarious! Unfortunately, we're getting to the age of being self-aware and I have to be sneaky about sharing their antics with you all!

Renee said...

I love this!