Monday, July 21, 2014

Kid Snippets

I spend a ridiculous amount of time in parking lots or at stoplights, hurriedly entering clips of conversation into the notes section of my phone. So often, these bits and pieces never make it to an actual blog post and I feel bad about that but also not quite motivated enough to craft them into something interesting. So here are a few of those lost snippets:

"Why would you get to be the deciding factor?" I asked little kid when overhearing Big Kid's pleas to be the first to use the computer that day.

"I love when you say that, mom." Big Kid interrupted.

"When I say what?"

"Deciding factor. It's just really classy, so much better than the word choice. Deciding factor...yeah, that just sounds really good, two excellent words to use together."

It's so nice to have another word nerd in the house.

While listening to the radio:

"I knew you were trouble when you walked in -- she better be talking about herself! That girl is nothing but trouble, I don't even know why anyone would date her, knowing she's going to write trash talking songs about them later when they break up."

"Who is it?" I asked, not smarter than a 5th grader when it comes to pop culture.

"Taylor Swift."

"Who would break up with HER?" asked little kid. "She's totally rich. I wouldn't even care if she wrote mean songs about me, you can deal with some stuff for that kind of money."


"Max is my favorite boy lately." I said.

"Mooooom! Why Max?" little kid protested.

"He's sweet, he loves me all of the time, he rarely asks for anything. It doesn't mean I love you less, Max just gets to be the favorite this week."

"Great. Now I'm living dad's life."


little kid walked into the family room, bounced a Nerf football off of the side of an unsuspecting Big Kid's head and yelled, "Hash tag, deserved it!" as he continued walking into the next room.

I wasn't even mad. It was hilarious.

(Big Kid was mad.)


"Big Kid, you know why you don't like mustard?" little kid asked. "Mus-TURD," he finished before Big Kid could answer. He then repeated the joke 3 different times over the next two days.

I don't even know if those are funny to anyone else, but I don't want to forget them.


Unknown said...

Nope - those were totally hilarious.
"hash tag, deserved it" made me laugh out loud.

Unknown said...

hash tag, I'm gonna start using this!

Elise said...

I laughed out loud at the hash tag, deserved it comment too!

Brooke Waldroup said...

Living dad's life...priceless.

duhneese said...

Your kids...wise beyond their years. And hilarious.