Friday, August 6, 2010

The Job

So...the day before yesterday Mr. Ashley was kind of hinting that I should get a job.

(The hint was somewhere along the lines of, "You really need to start looking for a job.")

He has been happy about me not having a job (the plan was for me to stay at home through the next school year) and I think he was just having a bad day.

So I said, "FINE! I'll get a job!"--knowing it would be nearly impossible to get a job in my city right now. I checked Craigslist and the online classifieds and cried, "There aren't many jobs and I'm not qualified for most of them! My only option is to be a waitress at IHOP!" (No offense to the waitresses at IHOP, you do what you gotta do.)

"Whatever we have to do," he answered, knowing that I would most likely not do that.

I was annoyed about the suddenness and unexpectedness of all of this. I checked my Facebook page to take my mind off of it and right then (literally) a job posting came up from an organization I know well. A really perfect Dream Job type of job.

"I found a job to apply for!" I shouted, yelling the job title across the room. Although I lacked some of the qualifications requested, we decided I should go ahead and submit my resume, figuring it couldn't hurt to try.

As I was working on a cover letter, I got a Facebook friend request from the Executive Director, who I had known from my previous job. That made me nervous but excited.

I stayed up until 4:30 in the morning working on my resume package. Construction resumed right behind my house around 7:30 in the morning, so I awoke to the sound of clanging machinery and tried to proofread. It's like little kid could sense that I was attempting to escape and he did his best to make sure I couldn't concentrate. Around noon the construction people went on break and it was quiet, so I locked little kid out of the room and read through everything twice. And then I hit send.

An hour later I had an email requesting an interview, to take place on Monday morning.

Aaagggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh! How exciting! How dreadful! How flattering! How scary!

What will I wear? What will I say? Can I still be normal around people in a professional environment? What if I forgot how to work? What will I do with the kids? What if I get so nervous that I say something really dumb? What about those Jack Johnson tickets I have for the 26th? What about my plans to lay by the pool and workout during my free time this school year? Remember how boring or difficult work can be? Remember how fulfilling work can be? Remember how nice extra money can be?

Mr. Ashley was as shocked as I was and briefly seemed to regret asking. It's been so nice to have you home, it's been so good for the kids, we can make this work for another year, work will pick up again drastically next month, last month was just really expensive, what will we do about childcare?

But this is The Job. The job that would answer the "What do I want to be when I grow up?" question. A job that I would enjoy, that I would be proud to do, that would look amazing on my resume and could take life in a completely different direction. This Job won't be around next year. I want this job! I really do. Mr. Ashley realizes that too and has warmed up to the idea, agreeing that it's for the best and seeming excited now.

I am worried about childcare since little kid's pre-k runs from noon to 3. I also feel terrible because I just convinced Big Kid to switch to the school across the street, promising that I could volunteer more and walk him home from school. I was really looking forward to that and know he was too. He asked what I was working on when I was putting my resume together and I decided to be honest with him.

"I am writing a resume to try to get a job. There's a really good job available," I said.

He looked really sad. "What's the job?"

As I told him, his eyes widened and he smiled. "Wow! What a neat job! You'd be good at that, I hope you get it." Oh how I love him.

I haven't mentioned it to little kid and won't until I know if I'm hired. I currently do some marketing for my hair salon in exchange for hair services and little kid has suggested that I just stop getting my hair done, because the 2 hours a week I spend on it is just too much. As I type this, he is clinging to my shoulder, kissing the side of my face softly and calling me his "little baby love and his little 'tato." He gets confused by food-related terms of endearment and often calls me his little tuptup (ketchup) or his sweet mac and cheese. I really wanted to squeeze out one more year of babyhood before he starts kindergarten.

It is bittersweet. The truth is, I have had the best summer of my life being home with the two of them. I've had some awesome summers too--I lived in the Keys one summer! I have had many carefree, party-filled summers, but these few months of playing Mario, swimming in the pool and going to the beach with my boys have been the best. I'm sad to see it end.

But who knows. Maybe I won't even get the job.

But I hope I do and sort of think I might.

How can such an exciting prospect also make me want to barf?

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

Congratulations!!! I know it's so exciting and nerve-wracking and nauseating and fun to find THE JOB and start getting ready to sell yourself as THE ONE for it. I wish you the best of luck.

Kerrie said...

Wow, that was fast; how exciting! The best of luck to you for Monday.

Furiously Curious said...

I am so so excited for you. The way this just kind of fell in your lap makes me think it is Meant to Be. Fingers crossed!!!

nova said...

Forget the concert, it's not like it's his farewell tour. You can always see him again. Anyway I'm sure it'll work out.

As for the rest of your fears...you are awesome. You have worked harder than most people by raising those two boys. A "real" job will be a breeze.

Sending you good thoughts on Monday!

Anonymous said...

I've got my fingers crossed for you. I am sure you will be spectacular on monday!

Desiree said...

Well, that last comment was from me, don't know why it posted before I could sign in LOL.

Christine said...

Ohhhhh.... This is exciting and somewhat nerve wracking! I hope the interview goes well, I can't see why they wouldn't love you!

Also, I think I love big kid even more now.

Lin said...

Congratulations! I'm sure the job is yours :)

Mom Taxi Julie said...

I'm still mourning this summer that I had to work and left my kids at home. Sucks :( Last summer was nice when I was laid off and we just hung out and went wherever when we wanted.

Jennifer said...

I think God knows what you need when you need it and he puts it in your path. You don't know what is around the corner and I think if this is something you've always wanted then you should reach out and grab it. Little Kid will be fine.

And I got the dress. Thanks.

It's the wife said...

I hate interviews too. I will be thinking of you on Monday and hope everything goes well.

Maija's Mommy said...

I totally understand! I'm going back to work in september and will seriously miss my kids when next summer roles around. Good Luck!

Anonymous said...

Congrats, hope your interview goes amazing but I'm sure you'll do great. Don't be stressed!
Also, on asking big kid to move to the school closer to your house, would that decision have to do with a certain crazy bus stop mom?:D. I'm teasing, but good luck and we're all keeping our fingers crossed for you. After all, this job could mean we're all one step closer to experiencing your cruise!

Courtney said...

If you get the job- Does that mean less entertaining posts about the life of the Ashley's? :(

Kidding. Congratulations on your job opportunity- I hope you get what you want!!:)

Ellie Di said...

How awesome and scary! I'm thinking happy thoughts for you, though, since you really seem to want this job. The boys will be fine; Mr. Ashley will be fine; you'll be fine. Promise! *shakes pompoms*

Theresa said...

Good luck today!

shelly said...

Congrats Ashley! I can't wait to read more about it. I'm sure you'll do great, or are doing great as I type. Give us an update soon!

Jennifer said...

wow! congratulations!

Theresa said...

How did the interview go?

Sasha said...

I'm excited for you. Here I sit, almost 37 and I don't have The Job. I have a job that pays me well, gives me great benefits, but I don't dash to my car every morning dying to be here. I've been struggling with with I want to be when I grow up, and I just know it's not what I'm doing. So I'm pumped for you to have this opportunity, and if it's all meant to be, it'll all fall in place. Keep us posted!