I took a small, broken up handful of old gold jewelry to a jewelry store a month or so ago, thinking it would be awesome to get enough money to take everyone to the movies over the weekend. They ended up giving me close to $500 cash for it, which of course I was thrilled with, but this transaction completely blew little kid's mind.
Since then he has collected anything shiny--a gold plastic whistle, a silver-looking belt buckle, stray pieces of broken costume jewelry, brass buttons, etc. and routinely begs me to take him to the jewelry store so they can melt it down and give him money. I always have to explain why this plan will not work.
Then one day he hopped into the car with a smile when I picked him up from school.
"Mom, I gots a great idea!" he said, grinning.
"What's that?" I asked, doubtful.
"We should get some tubas and take 'em to the jewry store so they can melt 'em down and gibs us money!" As I composed myself he added, "Don't worry. It will be a lots of monies!"
"But where will we get the tubas?" I asked, because I'm practical like that.
He looked a little nervous about proceeding. "I can get us some tubas...." he answered.
"Oh? How will you get us tubas?" I asked.
"Maybe we could...find some tubas? In my music teacher's class? I could probly find some tubas." He looked guilty and slightly suspicious.
Big Kid interrupted impatiently, before we could plan some big tuba heist. "Dude, this is a terrible plan. It will never work and it's stealing. Number 1, we don't steal. You know that! Number 2, tubas are brass, not gold. I don't even think the jeweler will melt down brass--who wants brass?? Number 3, they fingerprinted mom for that money. You're going to steal tubas and then get fingerprinted?? No. No, you're not.You need a new plan, bro."
"Yeah, your brother's right. We would never, ever steal." I added, because I had to say something.
little kid sat quietly and considered what was said. "So...tubas aren't gold? They's shiny like gold."
"Dude, tubas aren't gold. The end."