"I wanna sit on your lap," little kid said to me as we were looking at the computer.
"Okay, but you're almost too big for my lap!" I answered as his arms and legs were hanging all over the place.
"I will NEBER be too big for your lap, did you hear me? NEBER."
"What about when you're in college. Will you sit in my lap when I come to visit?"
"What about when you're married. Will you sit in my lap then?"
"A course. I'm always gonna sit in your lap, I like it."
"What if your wife thinks that's weird? You know, an adult sitting in his mom's lap?"
He considered this seriously.
"Well, I'm just gonna have to pick the right woman. And if she doesn't like it, then she's not the right woman! I wish I could marry you, though."
Yeah, great, then I could be a human chair for life!
We still have to have the "You can't marry your mother" conversation on a weekly basis. He just refuses to believe that this is a fact and thinks Mr. Ashley is the only thing standing in our way.
He referred to me as "his woman" the other day (he does this all the time, very bizarre from a 5-year-old) and when Mr. Ashley clarified that I was actually his woman and that he met me first, little kid said, "Well, one day you'll die," very matter-of-factly, as if that would finally end this argument.
I don't know whether to be flattered or afraid.