Friday, June 1, 2012

Body Swap

"Mom, I have some rules to follow this summer."  little kid announced.

"Rules about what?"

"Summer safety rules."

"Oh no, bro.I'm having a risky, daring, adventurous, awesome summer. I am NOT following rules," said Big Kid.

"No! No! There are rules to follow to stay safe, bro. Water rules and stuff. If you get hurt, you're all out of fun for the summer. I saw a video about it."

"I don't care. I'm not doing it. How can you have an awesome summer with RULES? I'm not letting a video RUIN my summer."

"Dude, Coach Raymond told us these rules! This is serious! You HAVE to follow the rules!"

"Coach Raymond?? Are you kidding me? He's a maniac! He made us play golf with plastic clubs, that part, okay whatever, but for balls they were tennis balls. He's a lunatic. He's going to give me rules? FOR THE SUMMER, yeah right. Nope, not doing it."

"You don't even know the rules! Rules about swimming? You don't need rules about swimming? You don't need water safety rules, bro? Everyone needs summer safety rules, the top safety patrols in the world made these rules.."

"No! It's Sum-MER. I'm not listening to any teacher. What two words don't go together, little kid? Risky and summer safety rules. It's four words, but still. I'm awesome and this summer will be awesome."

"MOM?! Does he have to follow my rules? He does, right?"

"Well, I don't know your rules. I think general safety guidelines are good but I like risky too. Let's do safe and risky! Like, we'll learn to surf and search for the skunk ape but safely." I tried to compromise. (Mostly because I have faith in Big Kid's level of acceptable risk taking...he could amp it up 20 notches and I'd still feel safe. Homeboy is nothing if not safe.)

"It makes no sense," he argued. "You can't have both. I'm not following the rules. Coach Raymond is NOT my boss."

"I think you're kind of overreacting, Big Kid. You don't even know his rules." I pointed out.

"I don't NEED to know his rules! I won't even hear them."

"Fine, bro, I'll just let you get hurt? You wanna get hurt? Go ahead and get hurt!"

It was just like all of those movies where people switch bodies.

"I'll do what I want. You're not my boss." Big Kid answered defiantly.

"I'm keeping you safe! I am telling you! You WILL follow the summer safety rules," He screamed.

And then, in order to uphold the summer safety rules, little kid punched Big Kid in the back and pushed him into the table.

And the body swap had clearly ended and I was forced to get more involved.


MTGrace said...

Quite possibly my favorite conversation EVER!

Livie said...

A serious case of the body swap! LOL

CassieLlyn said...

*shiver* that Is totally body switching! Creepy! Bet that was so interesting for you to moderate. That's why I'll be sticking to only having one! I can only handle so much freaky! ;)