First thing this morning, little kid hopped in bed to snuggle with me while I was still sleeping and since his eyes were open, of course his mouth was moving:
"What if the British knocked out one or two blocks from the Great Wall of China--would it fall?"
"No", I answered, mostly still asleep.
"What would they do it with? Swords? They couldn't do that."
"No, they couldn't. They wouldn't, either," I added, draping my arm over my face.
"Yeah, because they know they couldn't get through that wall. What if they had cannon balls? Mom, do the British have cannon balls? Could a cannon ball go through the wall?"
"I don't know, babe. I really don't. I'm super tired."
"Yes, but do the British have cannonballs?"
"Yes, they do, hon. They have no interest in going to war with China, though."
"Because they know they couldn't get through that wall."
"They could get through the wall, little kid. They have bombs and stuff now."
"The British?!? Have bombs?!? Do they have tanks and stuff?"
"Wow! Hmmm. So they could get through that wall, I guess. Could a tank get through that wall?"
"It wouldn't want to, little kid! The British aren't going to war with anyone--they couldn't care less about China or its wall."
"Probably because they know they can't get through there--it's like a huge wall."
"Right." I agreed out of frustration.
"Yes?" I answered, my patience wearing thin.
"You are so beautiful that you couldn't even be sketched."
"Thank you, honey."
"Maybe you could be sketched by a robot but it would have to be a super good artist robot."
"Maybe it would need to have a finger that traced your face--I don't know, maybe the finger would need to be a scanner or something? It would be hard to get right. Hey, are there buildings in China? And how do we know the British don't want to start wars with anyone anymore?"
"A lot, and I really don't know. The British have chilled a lot in the last 200 years or so."
"That's good because they could never get through that wall anyway, don't you think?"
"I don't know, little kid. Maybe not."
"I can't believe the British have bombs now."
"Yeah, me neither."
"You are beautiful though."
And that's a pretty typical start to my morning.
But watch out, England, little hasn't quite forgiven you for your participation in the Revolutionary War yet.
Your kids so crack me up. They have such unique personalities don't they? The other day I was in a meeting at work and thought I would sneak in some Ashley's Closet blog reading while the higher ups were droning on and on about something. Apparently that is not a good idea because I had to leave the room because I was about to bust out laughing at little kid's morning commentary. He would make a great morning talk show host - you never know :-)
Still not a mom (or to-be), but this discourse is comedic gold. How lovely it must be to have such adoring gentlemen in your life!
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