"There's a mermaid tail on the yard sale site for $80, which I think is an excellent investment," I told Mr. Ashley.
"It is absolutely not. No way," Mr. Ashley replied, because his job as full-time fun killer requires him to reply as such.
"Big Kid, what do you think? What if I had a mermaid tail for a bathing suit?" I knew my chances were better with little kid, but he wasn't around. Big Kid is a fan of quirky, though, so I thought there was a slim chance.
"Big Kid, imagine your mom at the beach dressed like a mermaid," Mr. Ashley interrupted.
He didn't even need a moment to think about it. "That would be the worst possible scenario. Sorry, mom, but no."
"Well, I wouldn't wear it at the beach, that would be ridiculous. For lazy rivers and the pool and grottos and such. Maybe short trips to the beach."
And that's how these people killed my dream of becoming a mermaid.