As he was trying to fall asleep last night, I asked Mr. Ashley, "What if my new dentist hurts me or is mean to me?"
He sighed and answered, "Then I'll send that motherfucker a check and a thank you card. And I'll buy his entire staff lunch for a week."
Isn't he mean? I'm pretty sure "in sickness and in health" includes being understanding about three weeks of almost constant bitching about the possibility of a new dentist. What a jerk!
Pregnant people, don't forget to email me (ashleyquitefrankly*at*g*mail*com) if you want a Dreamgenii maternity pillow, we've worked out something really nice for you all.
Everyone else, think "be nice and gentle to Ashley" thoughts while I'm at the dentist today. My last dentist, the Novocaine Nazi, has really screwed me up and I need SPECIAL TREATMENT (and probably drugs) to get past that.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Stuff that's not boring
To save you all from hearing about the terrible headache I had this morning or my completely irrational anxiety over going to a new dentist for a cleaning tomorrow, here are some things that may actually be of interest to you:
A river underwater --the pictures are kind of mind-blowing, it's hard to wrap your brain around what you're seeing.
The global warming conspiracy --those goddamn tree-huggers.
Playing Stephen King -- I love this. It sounds like fun and sort of romantic (as romantic as randomly attacking each other for years can be!)
Queen Elizabeth II-- Photos of her with the presidents she's met. Imagine the life she's led!
Too Drunk-- This literally made me LOL. There should be a new abbreviation for that, since we all know you usually don't really Laugh Out Loud when you LOL. ILLOL.
Unusual Cupcake recipes-- Did you know that cupcakes don't always come from the bakery or a box? It's news to me.
DeadbyCubicle--Twitter stream of guy who works in call center. Extremely funny guy in an extremely amusing call center.
Life as a Teenage Harem Girl in Brunei-- Yep, it's as interesting as it sounds.
Hope you have a headache-free day and a no-scraping, no-poking tomorrow!
A river underwater --the pictures are kind of mind-blowing, it's hard to wrap your brain around what you're seeing.
The global warming conspiracy --those goddamn tree-huggers.
Playing Stephen King -- I love this. It sounds like fun and sort of romantic (as romantic as randomly attacking each other for years can be!)
Queen Elizabeth II-- Photos of her with the presidents she's met. Imagine the life she's led!
Too Drunk-- This literally made me LOL. There should be a new abbreviation for that, since we all know you usually don't really Laugh Out Loud when you LOL. ILLOL.
Unusual Cupcake recipes-- Did you know that cupcakes don't always come from the bakery or a box? It's news to me.
DeadbyCubicle--Twitter stream of guy who works in call center. Extremely funny guy in an extremely amusing call center.
Life as a Teenage Harem Girl in Brunei-- Yep, it's as interesting as it sounds.
Hope you have a headache-free day and a no-scraping, no-poking tomorrow!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
History Lesson
Not much exciting going on in my life, so let's talk about Theodore Roosevelt.
Yep. Bet you didn't know that he was a total bad ass, did you?
He was the 26th president of the United States. He was Republican. He said, "Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far." You probably knew all of that or can vaguely recollect most of it.
He had a photographic memory and a love of reading. He was a brilliant conversationalist and an avid learner. He wrote 18 books over the course of his life time. He enjoyed boxing until one of his retinas detached and he went blind in that eye. He was a 3rd degree brown belt in Judo. He frequently skinny dipped in the icy waters of the Potomac in the winter. He became president after McKinley was assassinated and at 42 years old, he was the youngest president to ever take office. He was the first American to win the Nobel Peace Prize for negotiating the end of the Russo-Japanese War.
He decided not to run for re-election and went on a year long African safari instead.
Dude was shot in 1912 while campaigning to be president again. The bullet passed through his steel eyeglass case and his 50 page thick speech and got lodged in his chest. He refused immediate treatment and insisted on making his speech. He spoke for ninety minutes and apologized for cutting it short.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot; but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose." Taft beat him in that election.
The teddy bear was invented after he issued the mercy killing of a wounded bear in 1902 (*Not true, read edit.) A toy company got permission to sell a toy bear named after him."Teddy" was his first wife's nickname for him and he hated being called that after her unexpected death in 1884.
His wife and mother died on the same day, in the same house, of unrelated illnesses two days after the birth of his first child. Here is his journal entry from that day:
It was Valentine's Day. :-(
And then in an attempt to dispel his heartache, he never wrote or spoke of their union again.
Somehow I came across his journal online and ended up reading some of it which is what sparked my curiosity. I brilliantly filed the link to his journal in one of my bookmark folders to share with you all...and now I can't find it. So instead, HERE is his Wikipedia page and HERE is another page I found that has some of his journal entries.
And here he is, riding a moose:
I told you he was cool!
Yep. Bet you didn't know that he was a total bad ass, did you?
He was the 26th president of the United States. He was Republican. He said, "Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far." You probably knew all of that or can vaguely recollect most of it.
He had a photographic memory and a love of reading. He was a brilliant conversationalist and an avid learner. He wrote 18 books over the course of his life time. He enjoyed boxing until one of his retinas detached and he went blind in that eye. He was a 3rd degree brown belt in Judo. He frequently skinny dipped in the icy waters of the Potomac in the winter. He became president after McKinley was assassinated and at 42 years old, he was the youngest president to ever take office. He was the first American to win the Nobel Peace Prize for negotiating the end of the Russo-Japanese War.
He decided not to run for re-election and went on a year long African safari instead.
Dude was shot in 1912 while campaigning to be president again. The bullet passed through his steel eyeglass case and his 50 page thick speech and got lodged in his chest. He refused immediate treatment and insisted on making his speech. He spoke for ninety minutes and apologized for cutting it short.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot; but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose." Taft beat him in that election.
The teddy bear was invented after he issued the mercy killing of a wounded bear in 1902 (*Not true, read edit.) A toy company got permission to sell a toy bear named after him."Teddy" was his first wife's nickname for him and he hated being called that after her unexpected death in 1884.His wife and mother died on the same day, in the same house, of unrelated illnesses two days after the birth of his first child. Here is his journal entry from that day:
It was Valentine's Day. :-(
He later wrote this about his wife Alice:
She was beautiful in face and form, and lovelier still in spirit; As a flower she grew, and as a fair young flower she died. Her life had been always in the sunshine; there had never come to her a single sorrow; and none ever knew her who did not love and revere her for the bright, sunny temper and her saintly unselfishness. Fair, pure, and joyous as a maiden; loving , tender, and happy. As a young wife; when she had just become a mother, when her life seemed to be just begun, and when the years seemed so bright before her—then, by a strange and terrible fate, death came to her. And when my heart’s dearest died, the light went from my life forever.
And then in an attempt to dispel his heartache, he never wrote or spoke of their union again.
Somehow I came across his journal online and ended up reading some of it which is what sparked my curiosity. I brilliantly filed the link to his journal in one of my bookmark folders to share with you all...and now I can't find it. So instead, HERE is his Wikipedia page and HERE is another page I found that has some of his journal entries.
And here he is, riding a moose:
*Edited to add: little kid spotted T.R.'s post on my computer screen and immediately recognized his total badassery. He demanded more photos and that led me to this Mental Floss link
about Theodore Roosevelt. I think Wikipedia was wrong about the teddy bear thing, it looks more like T.R. refused to shoot a bear that was tied up. I think Mental Floss got it right because Wikipedia refers to a political cartoon that inspired the creation of the teddy bear and Mental Floss includes the cartoon, which supports their version of the events. Anyway, if I haven't already bored you to death with this post, you may enjoy the Mental Floss post too!
about Theodore Roosevelt. I think Wikipedia was wrong about the teddy bear thing, it looks more like T.R. refused to shoot a bear that was tied up. I think Mental Floss got it right because Wikipedia refers to a political cartoon that inspired the creation of the teddy bear and Mental Floss includes the cartoon, which supports their version of the events. Anyway, if I haven't already bored you to death with this post, you may enjoy the Mental Floss post too!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Dear People Praying for Obama to Die,
You do realize that would make Biden president, correct?
I mean, he's no Sarah Palin but...is that what you want?
Because I don't even mind him, I think he's more amusing than evil, but he wouldn't be my first choice for president; mostly because I wouldn't want to hear the complete and utter hysteria that would come from you all every time he said something stupid. (Because we all know that you only get to say stupid crap if you do it while being "folksy", like Bush and Palin and the Tea Party rubes.)
I hated Dubya with the heat of one million white-hot fiery suns and honestly feared for my safety while he was president, but I never wanted him dead. Mostly because I understood that Cheney would then become president and my issues would go from bad to worst.
So do you secretly like Biden? Or do you think that when the president dies you just get to not pay taxes and do whatever you want until the next election period? What is the thought process behind joining Facebook groups where you pray for the president's death? Does God really respect such requests?
Even if you don't like his policies, you want to take this guy from his family:
because he's making people get health insurance?
Seriously?
That makes my heart hurt for yours.
Quite Frankly,
Ashley
P.S. Shame on you all!
I mean, he's no Sarah Palin but...is that what you want?
Because I don't even mind him, I think he's more amusing than evil, but he wouldn't be my first choice for president; mostly because I wouldn't want to hear the complete and utter hysteria that would come from you all every time he said something stupid. (Because we all know that you only get to say stupid crap if you do it while being "folksy", like Bush and Palin and the Tea Party rubes.)
I hated Dubya with the heat of one million white-hot fiery suns and honestly feared for my safety while he was president, but I never wanted him dead. Mostly because I understood that Cheney would then become president and my issues would go from bad to worst.
So do you secretly like Biden? Or do you think that when the president dies you just get to not pay taxes and do whatever you want until the next election period? What is the thought process behind joining Facebook groups where you pray for the president's death? Does God really respect such requests?
Even if you don't like his policies, you want to take this guy from his family:
because he's making people get health insurance?Seriously?
That makes my heart hurt for yours.
Quite Frankly,
Ashley
P.S. Shame on you all!
Look What We Did
Where's my Mother of the Year award?
Big Kid woke up with a kink in his neck because he stayed up all night staring at it.Dreamgenii Wiiner
So many sore sleepless pregnant ladies in the Closet and only one magical-looking Dreamgenii pregnancy pillow to give away. When I'm Oprah-rich, you'll all get massages on the cruise and you'll get Dreamgenii pillows in your gift bags, I promise.
But the one lucky Dreamgenii winner who is now obligated to dream about me every night for the rest of her pregnancy is:
Jenni--Jennifer in Minnesota - 27 weeks pregnant
Yay, Jenni from Minnesota! Email me your mailing address and they will mail you your magic maternity pillow:
But I still feel bad for the other aching pregnant ladies who were excited about the thought of sleeping comfortably again. I've mentioned that to the nice Dreamgenii people and we're trying to work out a special offer for the rest of you. So if you're interested in buying a Dreamgenii, would you email me by next Friday (April 30th) with DREAMGENII in the subject line? And I'll get it figured out and email you back.
Thanks everyone!
But the one lucky Dreamgenii winner who is now obligated to dream about me every night for the rest of her pregnancy is:
Jenni--Jennifer in Minnesota - 27 weeks pregnant
Yay, Jenni from Minnesota! Email me your mailing address and they will mail you your magic maternity pillow:
But I still feel bad for the other aching pregnant ladies who were excited about the thought of sleeping comfortably again. I've mentioned that to the nice Dreamgenii people and we're trying to work out a special offer for the rest of you. So if you're interested in buying a Dreamgenii, would you email me by next Friday (April 30th) with DREAMGENII in the subject line? And I'll get it figured out and email you back.Thanks everyone!
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