Thursday, April 29, 2010

Dr. Evil, DDS

As he was trying to fall asleep last night, I asked Mr. Ashley, "What if my new dentist hurts me or is mean to me?"

He sighed and answered, "Then I'll send that motherfucker a check and a thank you card. And I'll buy his entire staff lunch for a week."

Isn't he mean? I'm pretty sure "in sickness and in health" includes being understanding about three weeks of almost constant bitching about the possibility of a new dentist. What a jerk!

Pregnant people, don't forget to email me (ashleyquitefrankly*at*g*mail*com) if you want a Dreamgenii maternity pillow, we've worked out something really nice for you all.

Everyone else, think "be nice and gentle to Ashley" thoughts while I'm at the dentist today. My last dentist, the Novocaine Nazi, has really screwed me up and I need SPECIAL TREATMENT (and probably drugs) to get past that.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

When I was 8, we had a mean dentist and he was very rough. My mother told me next time he hurt me, to bite the hell out of him. It worked--he was very careful for the rest of that visit. But then we had to get a new dentist. :)

GOOD LUCK!!

Joy said...

ugh the dentist-YUCK

Theresa said...

Anonymous has an ingenious idea. About 10 years ago (damn I'm old) i had a wisdom tooth pulled at the dentists office. First he failed to fully numb me and didn't believe that I was in pain, then he stitched my cheek to my gum, and then he sent me home without any pain medication. I didn't go back to any dentist for years (and I never went back to him). Why are our teeth so sensitive?

Charity said...

I had a mean dentist when I was younger also and he ruined me for life. I hate the dentist! I try not to let it show for my kids (they go regularly) but they have perfect teeth. I have my moms teeth which means extra work. My husband doesn't understand either. The man rarely brushes, rinses with Listerine and still has never had a cavity! He sucks.

Jennifer said...

I haven't been to the dentist in forever because I'm scared. What kind of grown up am I?

Layne Street said...

Mr. Ashley - not cool.

Mommy Wis(h)dom said...

I am right there with you! I hate the dentist. I drag my kid every 6 months for his appointment but I put mine off.

Good luck!!

bugs mom said...

I feel you! I've had the same dentist my whole life - he went to high school with my dad - and he is super nice, but I STILL hate going! I've had so many yucky procedures, (my husband says I have chalk teeth) that I'm scarred for life - I can't even make myself think about when he retires! Agh!!!

Anonymous said...

Whats going on??! Did Dr. Evil wire your jaw shut?! OMG....tell us how it went!! ~Coco