Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Time Savers

Big Kid is convinced that zipping up your pants is a complete waste of time. We fight about it every single time he gets dressed.

"Big Kid, is your zipper zipped?"

"Mo-om! Why?" (insert big exaggerated sigh here)

"Zip it up! I'm done arguing about this--zip your zipper every time!!"

"No one can even see my zipper! No one ever sees it." He shakes his head and rolls his eyes and hesitates until I demand that he zips it.

I've tried to demonstrate that people can sometimes see unzipped zippers. I've tried to have objective people give their opinions on whether or not zipper-zipping is necessary (they always agree that it is)...but he cannot be convinced. He comes home from school almost every day with his zipper down.

little kid is certain that underwear are a complete waste of time. In fact, he insists that his teacher told him that they were. His teacher was an extremely conservative, devoutly Jewish lady who saw him one hour a week for a few weeks--I'm positive she would never tell him not to wear underwear. He will argue tirelessly about whether or not one is fully dressed without underwear and about what a waste underwear are in general.

So I've got one child whose bare ass is peeking out at every playground and another whose fly is perpetually down. I attempt to fight it and I swear I've tried to raise them to become at least halfway normal people--but let the record show that their inability to dress themselves properly is their own damn fault at this point.

I can only hope they'll go on to do great things with all of the time they've saved.

7 comments:

cfoxes said...

Wait until they decided to wear one pair of underwear for a whole week! Son has done that before!

Jennifer said...

Have you explained that something private might hang out if bottoms are bare or things are zipped appropriately?

Maybe with Big Kid you need to do it logically. Like, why would they put zippers on pants if they weren't necessary.

I don't think there is any help for Little Kid. He will go commando the rest of his life.

Melanie said...

This must be a boy issue. Big will sneak up to his bed to get dressed so that I don't see that he has on no underwear. Or, he will just blatantly leave them off right where I can see it. Sometimes I make him put them on and sometimes I just ignore it and tell him that he will surely be embarrassed when someone sees this. But I know this isn't true. The funniest thing to these boys is potty talk and underwear.
True story: Big just walked in the kitchen with his underwear on his head and screamed in my ear about his naked bottom. Now he's wearing them as a headband. I am not kidding.

Amandie said...

So, I pointed out on the past post that you had where Big Kid was asleep on the floor with his hand in his pants and how my 23 year old boyfriend sleeps the same way. I'm sorry to say that he also has still not learned to zip his zipper and before we leave the house I check to make sure he isn't walking around with his fly down. If worse comes to worst you could tell Big Kid that leaving your fly down is a major turn off for the ladies, at least that is what I tell my boyfriend (and like most men...he doesn't get it).

Ellie Di said...

This made me giggle what is probably an inordinate amount. :3

Alissa W. said...

Boys are weird....My oldest boy does not see the need for changing his underwear everyday. I have to check to make sure he puts on clean underwear at night after he takes his shower. My middle son will put his underwear on backwards, inside out and twisted up his buttcrack and when I point out that his underwear is on wrong, he says he likes it that way.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

It's too bad we can't all just wear sweat pants everyday :)