Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Ninjas, Dinosaurs and Poison

Speaking of pregnancy (enter to win a Dreamgenii pregnancy pillow in the post below!), little kid remembers being in my tummy and talks about it often.

This is obviously pretty remarkable in itself--being almost 4 years old and still being able to recall the time you spent in the womb? Amazing!

But that's nothing, really, because it turns out that all kinds of exciting stuff was going on in there.

"Bemember when I was in your tummy?"

"Mmm hmm."

"I had a ninja in there wif me!"

"Wait...there was a ninja in my tummy?"

"Yes! It was a nice ninja, not a bad one."

"I don't think this really happened, little kid. Maybe you're remembering wrong?"

"No. There was a ninja but I don't know where he went. I think he gots lost when the doctor got me out! Hey...how did I come out of your tummy?

"The doctor helped you out."

"But how?"

"Carefully. He had nurses to help. At the hospital."

"But where's I come out of your tummy fwom?"

"In the hospital, I just told you that. So tell me more about the ninja, that's interesting."

I'm as open and honest as possible about everything. Sometimes to a fault. If one of the kids wants to know why a store or restaurant has closed down, they're likely to get a whole explanation of supply and demand, poor profit margins and the economy in general. But not when it comes to babies. Vague is the name of my game there. I work an evade and distract tactic and so far, it's going pretty well.

He also told me the other day that "Every Rose Has its Thorn" by Poison was his favorite song when he was in my tummy. When I pointed out that his father and I didn't really listen to that type of music while he was in my tummy, he told me, "'Course not. How could you hear a music in your tummy? You don'ts gots ears in your tummy! It was my radio."

So...I think we can surmise a few things with these revelations of his:
  • little kid had a ninja twin that he ate or absorbed (making him a little bit ninja, which explains a lot actually.)
  • little kid has had white trash tendencies since conception. (so it's nothing I did--big relief there.)
  • little kid went 2 days past his due date because he was partying like a rock star in there. (I had suspected this.)
He's also announced that he's going to be a dinosaur when he grows up. When I told him that dinosaurs were extinct, he explained that he'd be a guy in a dinosaur costume; he said it like I was a real dumb ass for not realizing that in the first place.

So I have that to look forward to. I hope dinosaurs make enough money to live on their own.


Randi said...

He cracks me up! Love him!

mmunford2000 said...

The whole sex discussion freaks me out a little. My oldest, who is 8, has asked and I made it very scientific. We talked about an egg, sperm, and a zygote. That was enough for him! No discussion about how the limousine pulls into the garage to let out his passengers...yet!

Jennifer said...

I see a party college and Mom's basement in his future. LOL

I'm just kidding. He'll be fine.

Alissa W said...

LMAO!! This explains soooooooo much!! I remember you were in labor for a few days and totally miserable too. Little Kids explanation totally makes sense!

Kent said...

Every Womb has its Ninja....

Life, Love And Lola said...

Stories about little kid nearly make me piss my pants!

Marketing Gurl said...

That is so cute!!! I love your "don't tell the non-commenters..." I love it...you want to know people are out there, and you want to know that what you say matters...I follow read--coming to comment...Love, Mg

Heidi said...

Thanks for the laugh today!

Renee said...

That kid is a TRIP!!

-The Renee

PS I owe you an update - will send via FB. We close on the home sale on FRIDAY!!! AAAHHHHH!!!!