Thursday, April 8, 2010

Conspiracy Theory

I've decided that the bottom of the laundry basket is a lot like the end of a rainbow. Its existence seems likely and it feels like with just a little effort, I could probably get there myself and celebrate such a magnificent sight.

But I try and I try and I try and frankly--I'm starting to think there is no bottom of the laundry basket. Like the laundry hamper is some type of horrible Mary Poppins' purse-like contraption, possibly put here by evil overlords to force me into a lifetime of laundry servitude.

I also don't understand the math. I *think* if I ever got caught up (if such a thing is even possible) that it would take about 3 washed and folded loads per day to stay caught up. YET WE ARE NOT WEARING THREE LOADS OF CLOTHING EACH DAY.

So how does that work?? I think that right there is scientific evidence that something's not right.

We are being oppressed and we're too busy folding laundry to fight back! I think we need to get a government grant then form a research group and go out for drinks.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hear you loud and clear. I have 3 clean baskets sitting in the bedroom waiting to be folded and put away, a load in the washer, and a load in the dryer. It never ends!!!!

Maybe we should consider becoming nudists. ;) I'll definitely need lots of drinks for that.

Nicole

bugs mom said...

Ok, so we live on opposite sides of the state, in a parallel universe - or every stay at home mom who doesn't have a nanny and a maid has the same issues as us! :) My 6 year old daughter changes clothes like I change my mind, and my 14 month old son - well, need I say more?

Jaime said...

It's the sheets, towels, dishrags, washclothes, sweatshirts, and other assorted crap that puts it over the edge. Add all that in, and it's totally 3 loads. Sucks.

Jennifer said...

Same here. I'm not exactly sure where it all comes from.

Mary said...

I completely agree. I was just having this very same conversation yesterday! Then I have mixed feelings when I come across a clean folded piece of clothing at the bottom of the basket. It obviously hasn't been worn or even put away - but it has been sitting under a pile of dirty clothes. Do I wash it again or do I place it with the other clean and folded clothes to feel a little sense of accomplishment? Who else would know but me?

sarah said...

The amount of dirty laundry in my house is obscene. It's incredible how two small children can fill a washing machine with dirty clothes by the end of the day!

mmunford2000 said...

I see where you are coming from. I am one of the lucky ones. I have a laundry genie. Every Friday I drop my clothes off and magically Sunday they are washed, dried, and folded. Who does this you may ask? My mother! She retired about a year ago and when she retired she saw how busy I really was as a FTWM. She offered to help and I could NOT refuse. Now people, I still do some laundry. Vomit covered clothes/sheets/etc I do not send. Anything where someone had an "accident". I also wash bathmats, uniforms, comforters, and anything else that needs a quick or immediate turn around.

Anonymous said...

I will usually leave my kids in their PJs for a day (and that night) in order to catch up on laundry. :)

~ Katie B

Ellie said...

My 3 yr. old changes her clothes at least 3 times a day.
My middle is being potty trained- enough said.
My youngest (5 months) poops through his clothes 2-3 times a day. (up and out)
The messes we clean up with towels equals 2-3 large towels a day. I clean my floors with a steam mop every other day, and have to wash the pads for that. Not to mention washcloths, etc.
I think I need another washer.

And no, there is no such thing as the bottom of a laundry basket. Trust me. I've looked.

Heidi said...

Ashley, I have been really enjoying your posts lately.

Sue Denyhm said...

One weekend I totally caught up on all the laundry. Sheets, towels, 6 loads of clothes all washed, hung to dry, then folded and put away.

It felt so good and for once I felt like I really accomplished something. But alas, my accomplishment did not last for long. The ferals insisted on wearing clothes and using towels rather than drip-drying after showers.

Sasha said...

Why are there so many songs about rainbows? And what's on the other side...

Thanks for that...by the way. I love having Kermit in my head all day. :-)

Kristi said...

I totally hear you on this! Where does it all come from? And how come it never goes back there?!?

I have an added problem of always being so far behind on the folding part of the laundry cycle that I: a) can't ever find anything to wear and b) therefore think I truly have nothing to wear so I c) go shopping which d) adds to my laundry misery and e) leaves me broke. It's a real conundrum.

Anonymous said...

Ok I think this is the funniest blog post I've read in a while. Only because it's so true!

Anonymous said...

Just wait 'til the boys start sports! Then you'll get the thrill of sweaty practice clothes that have been sitting in a gym bag cooking for God knows how long. Kerry