Monday, April 5, 2010

Burning Belly

My lovely tan turned into a bit of a sunburn.

I put sunblock on before going to the pool today, but I skipped my stomach and the white parts of my arms because I was going to try to get the shade of fish belly white to blend with the nice golden tan.

My poor stomach hasn't seen the sunshine since I was pregnant with little kid. I've recently lost close to 15 pounds through stress, lack of money and lots of swimming and am now only 5 pounds from run-around-naked-all-the-time weight (you've been warned), so I decided to try on some bikinis the other day at Target.

As I was scrutinizing myself in the mirror, I heard Big Kid gasp.

"What happened to you?!"

"Where? What?"

"Your stomach! Why is it anudder color from the rest of you?"

"Oh, ha! Because I've been wearing bathing suits that cover my tummy and it hasn't gotten tan."

"Wow."

"Ooooh! Are you okay, mumum? Does it hurt?" little kid asked, concerned.

"Ha ha ha. Only to look at! I'm just pale, like how you guys are under your swim trunks."

"Yeah but uh...we don't look like that under our swim trunks. You look really kinda weirdish. I'm not gonna look anymore. Yuck." Big Kid covered his eyes with his hand and tried to cover little kid's with his free hand.

"No, I need to see," little kid jerked his face away from Big Kid's hand. "I din't know she had somefin' wrong wif her!"

"Nothing is wrong with me. I'm just pale. I need a sun tan on my tummy."

So at the pool today, I folded up my tankini top so that my stomach could get to a color that doesn't scare small children and I guess I overdid it because now I'm all warm and pink and itchy.

Hot, huh?

Yes, it is.

And then tonight after I got out of the shower, I decided to drench myself in lotion. I started putting it on and it kept smearing around and felt kind of sticky. I thought my skin was probably still too wet and kept trying. Then I decided Philosophy sold me faulty lotion and checked the bottle only to discover that it was actually shower gel. Then it started burning badly. So that was fun.

Anyway, all that and my new found love for 30 Rock is keeping us from tales of camping. Sorry about that.

8 comments:

miss. chief said...

OOH yeah, 30 rock is great!

Anonymous said...

I accidentally used hair conditioner as moisturizer the other day! It was moisturizing!! LOL

Allison said...

Ouch! Love 30 Rock tho!

Karlise said...

Ouch! I think it's time to break out the faux tanning lotion. I've started using it on my legs. They've gotten so pale and the FL sun doesn't like me.

Theresa said...

So jealous of your bikini! I would totally run around naked if I had a rockin' body - even if it was pasty white.

Jennifer said...

I hate sunburns, and I burn easily, but I always forget to put on sunblock. Not a good combo.

Ashley said...

Theresa, I wasn't brave enough to actually buy a bikini yet but I am close. I also noticed out on the island that many of the bikini wearers were imperfect but still looking good and having fun, so I think I'm just too critical of myself. 30 days of the Shred and I'd be there...but I like my soft spots more than I like Jillian Michaels' mean ass.

Karlise, the self-tanner seems like the obvious solution to the white parts now that you mention it. That will be my maintenance plan.

Desiree said...

Sorry Ashley, I've had dibs on Tina for years.