Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Master Pastor

little kid had chapel at school today and church days are his favorite.  "That guy 'at talks a lot was there. We call him Master."

"You mean Mister?"

"No, he's our Master. We call him Master."

WTF?

"Wait, do you mean Pastor?"

"Maybe."

He's been wanting me to read him "The Living Bible Story Book" which was my Bible as a child (according to the inscription on the inside from my grandparents). I don't remember the child's version of the Old Testament being so violent and scary. Holy doom and gloom, Batman!

He loves it of course, all of the killing and vengeance and smiting.

Big Kid hung around for the chapters about Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel and Noah's Ark before he was completely ticked off at what he believes is God's long history of majorly overreacting.

"God kicked them out of the Garden of Eden forever for eatin' an apple? And made it so we all had to turn to dust when we die and have no food and stuff? It's too much. If God forgives once the Saver comes, how come he's drownin' people and kickin' 'em out of their homes and ruinin' the whole wide world that HE made instead of forgiving in the first place?? I think they should've been allowed back in the garden; maybe just a long time out or somethin'. It's not right."

little kid desperately wants to build an altar so we can sacrifice a lamb and then set it on fire for God.

So, I'd say home Bible study isn't going so well around here.

9 comments:

Jewelie said...

Big Kid is a genius.

I love this so so so much.

Mommy Wis(h)dom said...

Your kids stories are great. I always laugh as I read them. When my six yr old was at a Christian preschool they called the Pastor..."Pasta Bob!" I'd forgotten about that till now.

Boys rock!

smarti said...

Master sounds better than Creature (aka Preacher). One little girl at my church calls me "Mister Pastor Sarah." Oh well.

Never would have imagined a kid wanting to build an altar & sacrifice a lamb at home but that does seem to fit little kid's personality. Wait until you get to David and Goliath and he wants a sling shot.

Joy said...

"Master" that is priceless!

I agree with BK they just deserved a time out or something:)

Anonymous said...

Wow, BK and I think alot alike...so either I have the mind of a young boy....or he has the mind of a goofy 52 year old woman. Love LK too! Master, Pastor...whatevah!

tampagirl81 said...

Big Kid is on to something.

Paige said...

Its quite possible you have the only kids in the world more entertaining than my sister's kids. Then again, maybe they are all just insane.

Theresa said...

That is the funniest thing! Your kids crack me up!

Anonymous said...

I think you need to skip to the New Testament. Then you'll get to explain why they killed Jesus. LOL. Kerry