Thursday, January 24, 2013

Not a Wino

The other day we were in the car and the hosts of a local talk radio show were discussing the difference between alcoholics and winos.

"They think it's okay because they're just having a glass of wine now and then," one of them said sarcastically.

"Right. Winos feel some sort of superiority, like drinking wine isn't a big deal," said the other.

It slowly dawned on me that there was silence in the backseat, and my very impressionable and judgmental children were probably misunderstanding my very infrequent (okay, not very, but infrequent still stands) bottle of wine.

"They're talking about people who abuse alcohol," I explained,"Not like your average adult who might have a glass of wine with dinner some nights."

"Oh, I knew they weren't talking about you," Big Kid said with certainty. Phew.

"Haha, yeah. I don't have a drinking problem." I clarified.

"You kind of do," little kid piped up, and before I could screech "WHAAAAT?" he added, "You have a problem with Coke!"

"Oh. Well, that's true."

"SHE IS NOT A COKO!" Big Kid rushed to my defense. "She doesn't even keep it at home anymore!"

"Coko is hilarious" I laughed.

He seemed a little offended. "What? Why? Like wino? But with Coke?"

"No, it's brilliant. I'm a Coko in recovery. Sounds better than Coke addict, for sure. Which I'm not."


Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

I'm a Diet Coko! And I'm only sort of in recovery.


Unknown said...

I'll forever only be sort of in recovery, lol--I'm an addict for life. I just cope better on some days. ;-) I don't bring it home, but I definitely make a beeline for it as soon as I'm out in the world.

asnell said...

Guess I'm a wino and a coffeeo. Not planning on recovering ever.

Destingirls said...

Wait until Little Kid tells his class that his mom is addicted to coke...yes I got that phone call from my daughters teacher. She also told them her grandfather smokes drugs in his garage. She thought cigarettes were drugs!

Good times...

Allison said...

A Coko! Awesome. Yes, my three year old has told people "Mama really likes her coke..." and we decided to have a strict calling it sofa policy from there out. It's red soda, not coke.

Coko. Nice. You should get that on a shirt with a picture of a can sticking out the top of a paper bag. For PTO meetings.

Unknown said...

That is a hilarious idea and I would totally do it, Allison! Except I would have to go to PTO meetings. But maybe it would look good at yoga?