Monday, June 24, 2013

Personal Space

I love my kids.

I'm sure you know, but I feel like I have to preface what I'm about to say with that statement--and that's always a good sign of what's to come.

I'm also very physically affectionate with them and I like that most of the time. Mr. Ashley claims to sometimes feel claustrophobic just looking at the three of us. I am very popular in all ways here and that is sweet and flattening--I mean, flattering.

That being said, you know how when you see a portrait of a primate trainer, they always have a bunch of orangutans hanging from them and they are forcing a pained smile?  You know they're hot and they have huge smelly monkeys hanging from them but they need to smile so they smile.

That's me this summer.

As my boob is sandwiched between a pointy elbow and someone else's knee, and stinky hot breath is enveloping my face and I have sweet murmurings of Minecraft being blasted inches from my ear, I think, "I am about to totally lose my shit here." Then I think, "You are lucky your kids are this old and still love you this much! Big Kid will be an adult in just the same short amount of time you've had him already! You're NOT going to lose your shit, you're going to sit here and you're going to like it."

Rinse and repeat about 12 times a day.

We just bought that beautiful Henry sectional from West Elm and I was worried because we haven't bought upholstered chairs for additional seating. But it turns out we don't need additional seating or a sectional because we share one couch cushion. Whether we all want to or not. I've had to stop writing this four times because little kid can read now so it's like I have the NSA x 2 looking over my shoulders at everything I type.

We're going bowling later this afternoon and I hate bowling. I hate everything about bowling. I hate the shoes, I hate the finger holes in the balls, I hate the noise, I hate the lights, I hate the arcade games my kids beg to play and also, my kids suck at bowling.

But just the thought of sitting in my own chair by myself for a few hours has me eagerly anticipating it.


Renee said...

I can totally relate!

Anonymous said...

I hate bowling for all of your reasons, but especially because the place always smells like stinky shoes! --Sue in MA

Julie H said...

Love it!

The speakers for my computer have died. I don't even know what Minecraft sounds like because my son has to use headphones. I got him nice ones off Amazon (the pre stick in your ears kind) and he's happy as a clam.

Anonymous said...

I share your pain. My Cuties insist on both sharing the same atom as me when seated and also now reading every single thing over my shoulder. I find myself semi-often yearning for the days when they were babbling idiots and couldn't sound out more than 6 letters.