"Momma, you will never have to live in a cage," little kid told me earnestly, out of nowhere. "No. You will never, ever live in a small metal cage, never. You're a person. Not a dog."
"Well...thanks? I guess? I should get that in writing so you'll remember that when I'm old and unable to take care of myself.
"Old? You're not that old. Just a little old," he assured me.
"No. When I get old. So old I'll have to come live with you and your wife and you'll have to make me sandwiches."
"You'll have to call first."
"I'll have to call? Before I come live with you?" I asked, slightly offended although of course I'd call.
"You won't be livin' wif me! You'll be livin' at your own house. You have to call before you comes ober. I'll give you the password--just to visit. When you call."
"I can't live with you and your wife? But what about when I'm too old to live at my own house alone?"
"Then I guess you'll die?"
"...that's a plan."
Guess whose college fund is going straight into a retirement account?
He doesn't have a college fund.