Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Uncomfortable Moment

Yesterday Big Kid asked if he could borrow my laptop and I told him that he could and that it was in my room on the bed.

I walked into the room about 20 minutes later and he asked if he could turn the television channel.

"Sure. The remote is on the nightstand."

"I was just wantin' to change it because they're talking about the," drops his voice to a whisper, "s-x word."

"Oh." I said, wishing Tyra Banks could refrain from talking about the s-word at 3 in the afternoon.

(I wasn't watching Tyra, by the way, I was watching whatever was on before that. I feel the need to clarify that because I don't watch crap like the Tyra Banks show. I watch other crap.)

"Yeah, go ahead and watch whatever you want."

"Yeah, you know, they're talkin' about the s-x word and pregnancy here on this show."

"Mmmm. Yep. Definitely let's change it."

"'bout bein' pregnant and havin' the s-x word. You know?"

"Yeah, you can turn it now."

"I bet that's know, doin' the s-x during pregnancy."

(Big Kid knows NOTHING about the mechanics of doin' the s-x, for the record.)

"Only about half as uncomfortable as this conversation. LET'S CHANGE IT NOW."

So, thank you Tyra Banks for opening that line of conversation. It was one of the most horrifying discussions of my parenting career so far and a real mother/son moment that I'm sure we'll both remember for an unfortunately long time.


Anonymous said...

I have laughed until I cried after reading several of your last posts. Little kid is so funny. I say this, of course, because my little bit is asleep right now and therefore NOT talking!!! Thanks for keeping me entertained!


Jennifer said...

At least he feels comfortable talking about the s-x word with you.

Anonymous said...

I need that like I need a hole in my head.

Joy said...

where should I send the check for the future therapy sessions?

My 5yr old keeps asking how they get the baby out and I keep avoiding her on the subject I would hate to freak her out at such an early age thinking about how one day her hoohaa will be stretched to such a terrible size to squeeze a gigantic baby head out of it ;)

Anonymous said...

Just wait....I got my 11 year old son a book from the library that talks about puberty, the importance of keeping yourself clean, pimples, etc. Apparently I didn't read it close enough because a few days later he says "Hey mom, I have a question about that book." I'm thinking, of course, I want to have an open line of communication with my son. His question? "What is masturbation?" Did NOT see that coming.