Sunday, February 27, 2011

Staring Contest

I have a stalker.

He's 6. He lives across the street. He has reported that:
  • his television is much bigger than ours
  • our house is much smaller than his
  • he has a pool table and we do not
  • our playroom is the smallest playroom he has ever seen
  • we do not have a pool in our backyard and he does
  • our garage is pretty messy.
But guess who never wants to go home?

Guess who waits anxiously at his window every single day for our car to pull in so that he can be tortured at our inferior home?

He is adorable and slightly annoying.

"Miss Ashley, can I come over today?"

"Uh, today? Well we have some things to do today. How about we call you later and we'll see?"

"I can come over later? I will come over later. I can come over later, right?"

"Ha ha, well--"

"I will wait for your car and when I see it I will come over. Okay? Right? So, later when your car comes home?"

"Uh....yeah. Okay. We'll see you later."

"Later when your car comes home...right?"

While he's over (several times a week), his method for dealing with Mr. Ashley or I correcting his behavior is to stare straight at us with no acknowledgment of what we're saying or that he can even hear us. Then he goes right back to what he was doing. Until we tell him to knock it off again, and he stares at us--straight through us really, with no acknowledgment whatsoever.

I don't like having to yell at other people's kids--but some of them leave me no choice.

Mr. Ashley and I were admiring this tactic though and discussing its usefulness in real life. To just stare someone down stoically if they ask you to do something (or not to do something) you don't feel like doing and then go back to doing what you want, seemingly without a care in the world. It's pretty bad ass. But when he goes back to doing what he wants, he stares at us guiltily which is pretty much a dead giveaway that he's up to no good. This is the fatal flaw in his method and gets him caught every time. But he doesn't really seem to care.

We sent him home to get some dry clothes after they went swimming at our community pool that is not like the pool in his backyard, and he came back to report that his mother just needed some peace and quiet. Yeah. After 5 hours with 3 boys, I know the feeling!

Next weekend I'm sending my kids over there and I'll advise them to stare her down and ignore her if she suggests they go home or come here to play.

Because I'm pretty sure she owes me some peace and quiet.


Anonymous said...

I don't even know how to say it....but we have one of these kids in our amazes me that their parents just don't seem to mind that we have their kid for HOURS at a time and they just don't seem to think that's a problem. Like who doesn't want their child for hours and hours and days and days. But when you try to trade places it's all "I need my piece and quiet". Lol.
There are some crazy folks out there. Just be glad your kid will never be "that kid". (the one that never leaves, whose mom is noninterested in his wereabouts, wanders around looking for someone to pay attention to him, etc)
wow. that was long winded. sorry. :)

Anonymous said...

crap....and I meant "peace" not "piece". I does know me english. :)

Scott Testa said...

Be sure you get your reciprocity. There are some moms out there who don't understand the concept.

Jennifer said...

That's nuts that she lets him spend so much time over at your house without ever offering that they come over to hers to play. Sometimes people aren't very nice.