Monday, February 7, 2011

Well, Hello

Sorry for the blatant neglect! I feel terrible. (Well, not really terrible but I feel pretty bad about it.) I've been doing some odd jobs/freelance type work and as usual, my time management skills suck and something's got to give and that ends up being you guys and laundry. I am sorry you're relegated to laundry status, that is pretty bad.

On top of poor time management, work also takes me about 500x longer than it ever did before due to various technical difficulties like people stapling all of my printer paper into books with one made-up word written on each page. I asked little kid why he did this and he angrily told me that he had to make books telling his work friends not to throw his cell phone into the ocean because they are on a 104 day vacation to Mexico. I asked why he wasn't in Mexico (thinking of how much easier working at home would be if he was in Mexico) and he said, "Someone's gots to stay and do the work!" No clear answer on why they have his cell phone, why they would throw it in the ocean or why they couldn't share one book about not throwing cell phones into oceans.

He also informed me that his work friends were "dellergic" to girls and could never, ever meet me. He was sorry to relay that sad piece of news and I'm sad that so many are afflicted with dellergic reactions to girls. That will be one boring trip to Mexico!

Mysteriously, little kid's name appeared printed in capital letters with a Sharpie on my coffee table. When we accused him of doing it, he began shaking with rage and indignation and insisted that he did NOT write his name on the coffee table, that he didn't know who did it, and that he was really really mad at us for blaming him for everything. So I guess we have an intruder with handwriting very similar to his; clearly someone with a sinister plan to frame him.

In happier news, Big Kid won a bike! This was extra awesome because he outgrew his bike and buying him a new one has been on the to do list but we won one with $5 worth of raffle tickets. I am pretty sure this is a sign that I'm about to win the HGTV Dream House because GOD OWES ME.

(Just kidding, God, but it would be nice...)

Anyhoo, I feel like we went on a few dates and I got lucky and didn't call you back for a while and now this is the awkward "So, how have you been?" reunion booty call. It doesn't help that I condensed 4 or 5 decent potential posts into one short, choppy awkward post.

But whatever, at least I called, right?

12 comments:

Lin said...

I'm glad you called :)

Anonymous said...

I cannot vouch for this but according to sources on the web.... cover the sharpie stain with a thick coat of plain, white non-gel toothpaste and leave it for 10 minutes. Then using a warm damp towel remove the toothpaste and rub out the stain.

Another place says if it is still visible try wiping with rubbing gently with alcohol on a soft towel.

The best I can offer....

ms vicki

Anonymous said...

Yep, missed you, I guess I'm still available. LOL

asnell said...

Missed you too. I need your craziness to make my craziness look...less crazy.

One our third snow day in the last six school days. Help!

Sasha said...

Mr. Sasha and I had a good laugh last night over the sharpie incident... reminds me of the "Not Me" character from the cartoons.

Heidi said...

I hope you win the HGTV Dream House :) I live in Vermont, about 15-20 minutes from Stowe.. win and you'll have a new friend!!

Joy said...

I'm glad you called... my days aren't the same without a little Ashley break.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the call. I've missed you. Wow, I'm needy.

Jennifer said...

Awww.. I'm glad you're back. But, sorry about the sharpie, though/

Jenny said...

Uh oh competition! Im would like to win that dream house too :) Good luck!

Auntie A said...

I have been reading your blog for about six months - you are absolutely hysterical - THANK you soooooooooooooooooo much for sharing your life with us!!! My husband can tell when I am reading and gets a kick out of me laughing so hard at all the craziness that goes on in the Ashley household.

Life Love and Lola said...

Can I just say I've missed your humor...I quit blogging after my divorce was final. As it was when most of my blogworthy material was occurring...gonna start back up though...not sure if it was you or little kid...but you inspired me!

P.S. Tell little kid if he has a job opening...I can fax my resume!