Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Apple Eater

While I was on the phone, little kid got a bag of apples out of the fridge, took a few bites out of every single apple, put all of the apples back in the bag, spit some of the apple chunks back into the bag and then retwisted and fastened the bag again.

I want to beat someone with that bag of browning, half-eaten, half-regurgitated apples. We JUST went to the grocery store. Maybe I need one of those inflatable bop bags that you can knock down as they pop again for situations like this. That may do a better job demonstrating to little kid how his daily shenanigans make me feel.

I did take some of the change from his pockets and told him he'd be buying me a new bag of apples, and he is furious about that and thinks I should use my own money. He has hordes of change lately, I'm not sure where he's getting it from, but I'm going to start taxing him for damage so I can get some of it back. I asked why he didn't just eat one apple and he says he was tasting them all to find the best one.

He's standing in front of the television right now, wearing a button up shirt inside out and upside down, munching on an apple (presumably the best tasting apple in the bag) and occasionally mentioning his plans to be good from here on out. This is a conversation we have about 48 times a day.

8 comments:

Jennifer said...

I can't picture the whole shirt thing in my mind, but I would be pissed about the apples too. I'm pretty sure I would (think about making) make him eat all of them before he could have any other food.

Renee said...

Maybe you can chop them up and boil them all and make homemade applesauce before they are all ruined? I don't know, just grasping at straws here.

Similar tale: I sent a picnic lunch out back last week and there were 4 PB&J sandwiches, cut in halves, on the tray. When the tray came back inside later, I saw 8 big crusts on the tray - not just the brown crust, but the crust plus about an inch of bread all around. I asked the kids why they didn't eat the crusts and they said David ate all the good middle parts of each sandwich before anyone else had a chance to take one. Little turd.

-The Renee

Colleen said...

Ummmm, looks like that part-time job of his is providing that pocket/apple change!! It's only funny b/c it didn't happen in THIS house!

Beth said...

My son did that with a bag of peppermint patties when he was about that age. At least lk is enjoying a healthy snack. :)

Caren said...

I was going to say what The Renee said, make applesauce! Easy and healthy and a great way to use up those apples. Yum!

~Gretchen~ said...

at least they werent deposited throughout the house, like they end up here!

E said...

Did you ever read the Ramona books? Didn't she do that one day? Her defence was 'The first bite is always the best.' Which is kind of true. I think her mum made applesauce...

Valerie said...

Oh my god, Ramona books!!!! I used to love those!