Thursday, July 15, 2010

Fire Starter

I walked into the kitchen earlier and found a lighter on the ground in front of the refrigerator. The lighter is kept up in a cabinet and looking around revealed that one of the kitchen stools had been moved.

I was REALLY angry. Just days ago I made a specific point of telling the kids about a friend of mine whose house burned down when he was 7 and how all he had left were 4 half-melted Star Wars toys. This story made Big Kid weep for 2 days. I finished with a list of things that can start fire and shouldn't be played with, and reminded them that not only could you lose all of your toys but that your family and pets could die. (I tell a lot of scary fire-related stories because fire terrifies me.) Everyone was very solemn and seemed to understand not to ever, ever even touch anything that could start a fire.

"LITTLE KID!!!!" I yelled. He walked into the room wearing pajama bottoms and cowboy boots, smiling nervously. "Why would you touch the lighter?!"

He cocked his head to the side and with a wide grin said, "Because that's just how I roll, baby!"

Word for word, that's what he said.

And it's actually a pretty good answer because that is indeed how he rolls.

It took me a moment to collect myself and to make sure I wasn't showing any signs of being amused. I know I can't encourage his psychopathic tendencies.

But it was pretty funny.

The moral of the story is that I need to find somewhere little kid-proof to hide the lighter.

Maybe the attic?

8 comments:

Jennifer said...

I know this isn't supposed to be funny, but be all OMG I can't believe he disobeyed you and he should totally be punished but when I read what he said I literally started guffawing. I mean what do you do in the face of that.

E said...

I love it! What a little terror. He is going to be popular all his short, violent life. :-)

Theresa said...

Oh hell, Ashley. I don't know what to think of Little Kid. But, damn he sure is funny!

Anonymous said...

Maybe hide it in some tupperware in the freezer? That's where my mom hid anything she didn't want us to find. I finally put two and two together when the little doll I received for my 6th birthday came out of her box icy cold, but it was a good trick while it lasted.

J said...

My godson reminds me very much of little kid. When my house burned down he swore it was Batman and lived in fear of Batman after that. It's been a great deterrent to the "little kids" in my family to stay away from fire devices.

DREW'S MOM said...

How in the world did you not burst out in laughter at his response? LOL Serious situation, but freakin hilarious response =) Good luck finding that hiding spot.

Ashley said...

I did actually have to cover my face with my hands for a moment. I acted like it was out of serious disappointment, like I was trying not to cry, but I was really reigning the laughter back in.

J, do you have proof that Batman didn't do it? I've always been a little suspicious of that guy. Your Godson may be onto something!

We have an empty fridge/freezer in the garage and that would be an excellent hiding spot! I don't know if the lighter would work after being frozen, but maybe for other items that need hidden! LOL about the icy cold doll.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

I'm guessing it would freeze the lighter fluid? Too funny about the doll being in the freezer.

When my brothers were little they went to a friends house and all together they lit the motorhome on fire (playing with candles). They have to go to the fire department and watch videos of bad stuff that happens when you play with matches etc.