I walked into the kitchen earlier and found a lighter on the ground in front of the refrigerator. The lighter is kept up in a cabinet and looking around revealed that one of the kitchen stools had been moved.
I was REALLY angry. Just days ago I made a specific point of telling the kids about a friend of mine whose house burned down when he was 7 and how all he had left were 4 half-melted Star Wars toys. This story made Big Kid weep for 2 days. I finished with a list of things that can start fire and shouldn't be played with, and reminded them that not only could you lose all of your toys but that your family and pets could die. (I tell a lot of scary fire-related stories because fire terrifies me.) Everyone was very solemn and seemed to understand not to ever, ever even touch anything that could start a fire.
"LITTLE KID!!!!" I yelled. He walked into the room wearing pajama bottoms and cowboy boots, smiling nervously. "Why would you touch the lighter?!"
He cocked his head to the side and with a wide grin said, "Because that's just how I roll, baby!"
Word for word, that's what he said.
And it's actually a pretty good answer because that is indeed how he rolls.
It took me a moment to collect myself and to make sure I wasn't showing any signs of being amused. I know I can't encourage his psychopathic tendencies.
But it was pretty funny.
The moral of the story is that I need to find somewhere little kid-proof to hide the lighter.
Maybe the attic?