Saturday, July 10, 2010


I would like to thank the parents of the screaming children in the doctor's waiting room today for supplying a whole herd of last minute reminders of why a vasectomy was a good idea for our family.

Although I undoubtedly don't want to give birth again (I'm 3 lbs from wedding weight, people!), of course there was some wistfulness with closing this chapter of our lives. For about an hour last night, I mourned the daughter I will probably never have. But then I tried to actually picture myself having another baby and the sleepless nights, the lifelong implications, and the cost and all I could think about was how I could go on a nice vacation with that much money. That's a good sign that I'm done, I think, when I'd prefer Belize over a baby.

And can you even imagine little kid as a middle child?

I also shouldn't go through pregnancy again for the same reason I don't do well with hormonal birth control--it makes me fat and crazy and I dislike being fat and crazy. For the first time in almost 5 years, I feel like me again and it is really very nice to be that version of me.

Mr. Ashley is doing well and said it was really no big deal. I am so grateful that soon I will have no valid reason to fear that I'm pregnant every month.

The other day Big Kid told me that if he ever had a little girl baby, he was going to name her Bailey because he knew I liked that name because it was my grandpa's. It made me swoon to hear it, but I told him that his wife may have something to say about that.

"Well, how do I get a wife that will let me use the name I want?"

"I guess you'll just have to discuss things like this...and pick a nice lady to marry."

"Like the type of lady who won't be screamin' at the kids and stuff?"

"Yes, that would be a good start."

"We could have two girl babies and I could name the first one and she could name the second one."

"That is a pretty good compromise and I would love to have two granddaughters."

"But then I won't have a little boy to draw comics with and play Mario with and stuff."

"You could have more than two children. Some people do. Also, girls like drawing and Mario."

" I just need to find a nice lady that wants two girls and one boy and likes the name I like."

"Yep, that's it!"

So maybe I'll get a Bailey one day after all.

Mr. Ashley is still very open to the idea of international adoption should our fortune ever drastically change. I like having the option...but I could go on a lot of vacations with that type of money. And get a boob job.


Anonymous said...

I could have written your post word for word....two boys, fat & crazy pregnant, would love a girl.....but after flying with a 2 year old last November, we voted 2-0 that it was vasectomy time.

Just Lisa said...

Way to go, Mr Ashley! My husband is going to get the big V, too... as soon as he gets up off his lazy butt and makes the appt. I think it will probably take a pregnancy to force him into action!

Anonymous said...

It's really only a permanent end for Mr. Ashley, technically! Just kidding. My DH and I have one of each. My son is sweet and my daughter is like lk, ebil! If I could be guaranteed #3 would be like my son, I would do it. But no guarantee means we are DONE too!!! Congrats on making a decision. And one day, you will not only have one daughter, you will have two DIL!!!

Joy said...

Can Mr. Ashley please email my hubby or post and tell him to stop being such a big baby and go get the snipsnip done?

I am SO sick and tired of the the pill and the worry, we are done! 2 is enough for a few reasons: I don't want to be outnumbered, I enjoy my sleep, no more poop in pants, and mainly I am terrified God would find it funny to "bless" me with another daughter like Abby and seriously it may just send me over the edge cause damn girls are drama and I am scared how expensive she is gonna be as a teenager:)

Jennifer said...

I like having the full set, but girls are a handful. At least mine is. Just try to imagine TWO sets of female hormones in one house.

Unknown said...

Lisa and Joy, strict enforcement of the new "don't even look at me without a condom on" rule motivated him to go ahead and get the appointment made! Aaaaaand there was some bribery involved. Jennifer, I do like being the queen of the house and have started to see how girl grandbabies could end up being way more fun than raising girls of my own. I can't afford the shopping now anyway and that would be the best part!

I have been joking that I'll have to be extra careful with my other boyfriend now ;-)

ABW said...

I couldn't get Gunner in there fast enough to get snipped. I was D-O-N-E. He was done too though, but was dragging his feet on getting the procedure scheduled and completed. We just got back from a 2 week vacation to Florida, and if we had had anymore, it would have been a disaster or never happened.

nova said...

My boss had a vasectomy and he said it was the best thing he ever did. And that it wasn't really a big deal...just trying to talk my man into it now.

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

Big kid gets me every time- too cute!

And you likely already know this but every time I mention wanting to me a mom via adoption on my blog, I get emails with such info so its worth sharing. But I'm told that you can adopt locally for as little as $1-2 thousand. I believe its from the foster system. So should you decide to find a girl, that might be an idea and still get you to Beliz and even keep Little Kid in his role as the family baby.

Anonymous said...

My dh got snipped before my 6 week check-up. 2 sick pregnancies and 2 bad deliveries= us being done. Make sure Mr. Ashley takes precautions until after his check-up though, don't want a baby now!

Former Fat Chick said...

excuse me, but what is wrong with FAT & CRAZY? It works just fine for me!~

AnastasiaBeaverhousen said...

I am so glad that my husband had it done after our son was born. But it didn't stop me from getting "empty womb syndrome" where I would be teary and mushy every time I saw a newborn. Until I had the opportunity to watch one for 2 hours. A colicky one. There I was thinking I was all experienced, a veteran mom with 2 kids, I'm a pro, yadda yadda yadda. Well he sure showed me that I don't know jack - I did the rocking, the walking, the shusshing, the vacuum.....all that happened was in 2 short hours I was almost crying as hard as he was and my kids were ready to move out. He cured my empty womb syndrome so well that I am already afraid of grandkids....:)

Cake said...

I was feeling smugly secure about having my tubes tied after I had cupcake since my need (read: desperation) not to have another child is so strong.

Until DH told me about his fishing friend and wife that are expecting their 3rd child FIVE YEARS AFTER she got her tubes tied.

Now, I want mah uterus YANKED as besides abstinence (totally not an option, duh), there really is no 100% gar-un-tay.