I would like to thank the parents of the screaming children in the doctor's waiting room today for supplying a whole herd of last minute reminders of why a vasectomy was a good idea for our family.
Although I undoubtedly don't want to give birth again (I'm 3 lbs from wedding weight, people!), of course there was some wistfulness with closing this chapter of our lives. For about an hour last night, I mourned the daughter I will probably never have. But then I tried to actually picture myself having another baby and the sleepless nights, the lifelong implications, and the cost and all I could think about was how I could go on a nice vacation with that much money. That's a good sign that I'm done, I think, when I'd prefer Belize over a baby.
And can you even imagine little kid as a middle child?
I also shouldn't go through pregnancy again for the same reason I don't do well with hormonal birth control--it makes me fat and crazy and I dislike being fat and crazy. For the first time in almost 5 years, I feel like me again and it is really very nice to be that version of me.
Mr. Ashley is doing well and said it was really no big deal. I am so grateful that soon I will have no valid reason to fear that I'm pregnant every month.
The other day Big Kid told me that if he ever had a little girl baby, he was going to name her Bailey because he knew I liked that name because it was my grandpa's. It made me swoon to hear it, but I told him that his wife may have something to say about that.
"Well, how do I get a wife that will let me use the name I want?"
"I guess you'll just have to discuss things like this...and pick a nice lady to marry."
"Like the type of lady who won't be screamin' at the kids and stuff?"
"Yes, that would be a good start."
"We could have two girl babies and I could name the first one and she could name the second one."
"That is a pretty good compromise and I would love to have two granddaughters."
"But then I won't have a little boy to draw comics with and play Mario with and stuff."
"You could have more than two children. Some people do. Also, girls like drawing and Mario."
"Okay...so I just need to find a nice lady that wants two girls and one boy and likes the name I like."
"Yep, that's it!"
So maybe I'll get a Bailey one day after all.
Mr. Ashley is still very open to the idea of international adoption should our fortune ever drastically change. I like having the option...but I could go on a lot of vacations with that type of money. And get a boob job.