Sunday, February 17, 2013

Nipple Ninjas

I don't quite understand why, but the words, "Leave your brother's nipples alone," leave my mouth every single day at some point, usually multiple times a day.

Some days I truly worry about where I failed as a parent or what exactly happened to create this nipple fixation they have. I would say it is their go to torture method. It's bizarre.

Thanks to our miserable experiences with team sports, I have been trying to convince Big Kid to get into martial arts lately. He's indifferent to the idea, only considering it to keep up with little kid's attacks.

"I want to do boxing," he said one day.

"Oh. Boxing?" I asked.


"Do you'll get punched in the head? While boxing?"

"Yes," he answered, shifty eyed, like he didn't really know. "Do they wear head gear?"

"They do. You might want to do something like MMA--I think it's like boxing with kicking too. But I'd start with regular old Karate," I answered, kind of worried about all of the above, to be honest.

"Are you allowed to pinch people's nipples in Karate?" he asked with complete seriousness.

"No. Not at all. You might even learn to defend against nipple pinching, I guess."

"Okay, I'll do it!" He said with excitement. "little kid, there is no nipple pinching in martial arts!" He announced.

Unfortunately, I have a feeling it won't solve our problem.


Tara said...

What about fencing (also a martial art)? Two of my kids take fencing and LOVE it...come on, it's sword fighting! With lot of safety gear!

Wiley37 said...

My husband, son, and daughter are in Tai Kwon Do. My son started at 7 and became a black belt at 14. He is 16 now and still goes occasionally to class. The instructors are a husband/wife set - the Masters Green. It has been such a positive experience. Miss Gi has been taking classes since she has been 5 and loves it. At 10 she is now a red belt with black stripe. Make sure where you take your son is not a "belt" factory and make sure they don't have any push up type punishment thing going on. Our school is very focused on self defense - not fighting. They teach the kids to use the moves as a way to escape dangerous situations. Maybe you should go with him as some bonding time? My husband really enjoys the one on one time in the car and working with her on her forms. With my son he moved up only when he moved up - so they stayed together. Now he is more of a mentor with Miss Gi. It will kinda shock you when your small child starts breaking full on boards (our school uses 1x12's)with their hands and feet. Good luck!

Unknown said...

Fencing would be awesome, I don't know that it's done around here. Wiley, the martial arts place I'm looking at is a husband/wife and seem to have good policies in place. I'd like them to do martial arts and yoga, if they're down with that.

Thanks, Veronica Lee!

Anonymous said...

You made me laugh out loud. Thank you. I was only recently talking to my husband about words you never expected to hear yourself saying. Like 'don't wee on your brother' and 'don't wipe your nose on the armchair' x

Anonymous said...

The thought of Big Kid doing MMA is f*cking hilarious. Maybe have him watch an episode of ultimate fighter if he ever brings up boxing again, lol.