Vibolated

I had a moment of parenting weakness and decided Bob's Burgers wasn't that bad, no worse than Futurama or Simpsons, and allowed the kids to watch it.

Two minutes in, there was a vibrator joke. The word vibrator was repeated a few times and was too difficult to ignore. I realized I had made a huge mistake.

"Uh, this is not going to work. Sorry guys."

There was a collective groan of disappointment as I turned it off.

"What's a vibolater anyway?" Big Kid asked.

"Uh, nothing. None of your business. Don't ask me. Seriously, don't."

"You're not even going to tell us?" Big Kid asked.

"No, I'm not! I said I wasn't! And if you google it, I will never let you on the computer ever again and I will know."

"Then we'll just ask our teachers, right, bro?" little kid said.

I laughed so hard at the thought that I began choking. This was ENTIRELY the wrong way to handle this whole situation. They will never forget the word "vibolater" now.

When I calmed down I said, "If you do that, I will never let you leave our home again."

And I meant it.