I'm not dead. I have the post you're waiting for, the long one, but first I think we (both) need reassurance that I'm still me, that just like I can curb it with my crazy cat lady talk (so very barely), I won't be all annoying and hopeful and empowered all of the time here, either. Because, barf.
(My yoga training teacher would give me "the look" and sigh so hard right now if she could read that.)
Today after picking the kids up from school, I was reciting the asana sequences I need to memorize for homework. I do it in this weird, sing-songy way because that's how I'm able to remember it.
"...exhale, low plank. Inhale, up dog. Exhale, down dog--inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale..."
"You should insert a twerking pose right there, since you've got nothin'," Big Kid offered from the backseat.
I paused and laughed. "What do you know about twerking?"
"Nothing, really. It's something with moving your butt. A kid at school did it today."
"He shaked his butt? At school?" little kid asked.
"Nevermind that. By the way, what did you learn in school today?"
"That there's such a thing as 'twerking Tuesday'. I guess. That's the most surprising thing I learned. I don't really see why there's a need for twerking Tues--"
"What's twerking?" little kid asked.
"Let's just drop it," I said.
"I'm gonna look it up on the internet. How do you spell it, Big Kid?"
"No, man, don't look it up on the internet. You might see a girl in her panties."
"How would you know?" little kid asked immediately, with a grin.
Good question. How does he know?
Big Kid started to quietly hum the Jeopardy theme song and little kid and I cracked up laughing even though I knew I should probably be serious.
"No, really," he said, as we calmed down and little kid asked again how he knew,"I don't know. The same kid who knows about twerking Tuesdays might have mentioned it. I'm not sayin' he did because I don't want to get anyone in trouble, but I haven't googled it. I know a 7-year-older shouldn't google twerking either, though."
Time to search the computer's history and add "twerking" to the blocked list, just in case.