It turns out that the only animal I've ever been allergic to in my entire life is my sorely needed and desperately loved new best friend.
One hug leaves me covered in huge red hives from my wrists to my armpits that burn and itch and make me want to peel my skin off.
I won't get rid of him, I can't get rid of him, and I won't stop hugging him and I can't stop hugging him so I guess this is my new life.
I want to go outside and shout to the heavens, "YOU WIN, UNIVERSE!! OKAY?!? YOU FREAKING WIN. You are the WINNER and I am the LOSER and if you don't mind, I'd like to just quietly live my little life down here with as little misery as possible since we've already determined that YOU WIN."
Because sometimes it's hard not to take life personally.
But instead I will wear long sleeves and hug my dog and give the universe the finger whenever I think it's not looking.