Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Professional Series

Without internet (or money or television), the most interesting source of entertainment I've had for the last 10 days has been my new appliances.

They are smarter than I am, which should be a good thing since I'm domestically challenged, but they are so advanced that I couldn't even figure out how to use them at first and found them ridiculously frustrating.

I was perplexed when I couldn't just put clothes into the washer and hit start. The options are endless: are these every day clothes? Work clothes? Towels? Blankets? Sheets? Comforters? Swim suits? Play clothes? Sneakers? Formal wear? Darks? Whites? Lights? Mixed? Cotton? Wool? Polyester? Blend? Have grass stains? Has it been peed on? Did someone poop their pants? Is it potential murder evidence?

Mr. Ashley walked into the laundry room to find me yelling "WASH! START!" in the hope that it was voice activated because I just needed a "Clean" cycle. (It is not voice activated.) I've got it all figured out now though and am completely amazed by its awesomeness. When I open the dryer door, the washer switches on and sends the dryer instructions--"SHE'S PUTTING IN THE TOWELS NOW. EXTRA HEAT AND DRY. DELICATE," it says and I hit OK, although I don't even understand the need for delicate when it comes to towels but I figure it knows what it is doing.

Mr. Ashley instituted a ban on laundry-watching because he thinks it's weird. The kids love it though and I can see the appeal. You can watch the washer too.

I love the kitchen almost enough to cook in it. My oven has a warming drawer and it does other fancy stuff too, but I don't really know what. I do know that it has a timer so that you can leave food in there and it will cook while you're gone, but that seems insane to me. I'm a little bit afraid of a Terminator-like uprising when the appliances gain super intelligence and revolt against my abuse and decide to kill me, so I'm not going to go and give the oven permission to turn itself on when I'm not supervising.

The pot-filling faucet is even better than expected. Today I was making soup and went to grab a pitcher to add more water when I remembered that I have a pot-filling faucet. And I turned it on right into the pot and that was pretty magnificent. Water right into the pot, no labor from me required.

I'm meh on the dishwasher. It looks all fancy and has 90 zillion configuration options inside but I'm pretty sure whoever designed it doesn't load the dishwasher a lot, or else they load the dishwasher completely wrong.

So there you have it, a house wife bragging about her appliances. Tomorrow we'll discuss my favorite toe nail polish color!!!


Joy said...

hehe I just posted today about my lack of fun in my life has reduced me to be excited about the Home Depot guys delivering me a new dishwasher!

Duel Living said...

I'm a little "meh" on my dishwasher too...since the dishwasher is me. My dryer is avocado green and has one tempurature and setting = ON. My oven...I don't even use it. So on behalf of all of my shitty appliances...ENJOY!


Paige said...

Wow, you are really living over there. And for once, I am not being sarcastic.

My washer just hit 16 and I have abused her from day one. She has been humming at me for a week. At first, I was excited thinking I could get a new dryer that would not leave dots on my clothes. Now you tell me this story, and I fear new washer might cost as much as new truck. No thanks

Plus, I suspect even if a new washer was voice activated, it would boycott me once I let loose with my foul mouth

Jennifer said...

Oooo, toenail polish. I can't wait. Just kidding.

I love new appliances, until I realize that I have to use them.

kristin said...

Although I can relate to the fears of a Transformer like uprising, I have to tell you the auto cook thing on the oven is pretty sweet. Last weekend we weren't going to get home from a basketball game till 5pm and had to leave again at 6pm. Walked in the door and voila! dinner was served.

I'm crazy jealous of your washer/dryer though.

Former Fat Chick said...

I'm SOOOOOO jealous! I want new crap too! I did just order a humongo JUICER, not that I am taking Bikram Yoga I'm going all healthy and shiz!

Layne Street said...

I'm super impressed with the vastness of the technology improvement you are experiencing. I'd be paralyzed.


Meh, that stuff is cool to look at but the more bells and whistles you have, the more you have to go wrong. When we bought our new washer and dryer last year, we went with middle of the road. Nothing too fancy, just a plain old washer and dryer. :) Serves us fine. I know you didn't buy them, though. ;)