Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The Imposter

Am I the only person who does not, and will not ever, take her children to see the Easter Bunny at the mall?

I think it is beyond creepy--some guy in a fake looking rabbit suit? Some dude who can't even talk? And I'm supposed to take my children there, present this creature to them as the magical, mystical Easter bunny and pay $20 for a photo of them looking frightened and bewildered as they sit on this thing's lap?

How would I explain that the Easter bunny has time to chill out in various malls all Spring? Why he looks different every time you see him? With Santa, it's clear that mall Santas are really Santa's magical helpers who dress up to bring joy to the children of the world while Santa gets his work done up at the North Pole. But the bunny suit would make Big Kid suspicious. He would never buy it. The mall Easter bunny could possibly ruin Santa, the Tooth Fairy and all of the other crazy stuff we lie about and I just can't risk that.

Plan A is to avoid the mall altogether but my back-up plan involves throwing the Easter bunny imposter under the bus if the need arises. If the kids ask me about it, I'm saying it's a stranger in a bunny suit posing for pictures for money and that I think it's weird.

19 comments:

Jaime said...

Yeah, hell NO. I haven't ever taken my two boys, nor do I plan to. Creepy and unnecessary!

Jess said...

I agree 100% with you!!
The past 8 Easters that my children have been alive I have NEVER once taken them to see the 'Easter Bunny'!! Creepy for sure!!
I've been telling the whole 'Santa helper' story also to my girls!!

Stereos and Souffles said...

Before I left for college, I worked part time at Victoria Secret in the mall. The Easter Bunny would pop in and visit the stores and offer candy, hugs, etc. between photos with the kiddies. At closing time, this homeless looking, 3 toothed man with a silly ass grin stolled in and we assumed this guy was there to rob the place. Lets just say he looked a lot better with his bunny costume on.

JET said...

The Easter Bunny has always creeped me out and I have never taken any of my kids to sit on his lap. All Easter bunnies look scary!

Ellie Di said...

I used to get freaked out by the Easter bunny dudes when I was a kid. But the one in the mall had nothing on the 20 or so man-sized Easter bunnies that pepper the Plaza in Kansas City every year. They had glowing red and green eyes. What the hell?! I always preferred to believe that the Easter bunny was really the Cadbury bunny - you know, a REAL rabbit.

Cindy said...

No way do I take my kids to the mall Easter Bunny. He creeps me out about as much as some clowns do.

Our entertainment on Saturday night this year will be Peeps jousting! Sounds like something our weird kids will like! :)

xo

Annie D said...

Ugh! We were at the mall last weekend and happened to walk by the Easter Bunny, and my mother INSISTED that my boys have their picture taken with it. She paid, and she keeps trying to give me the pictures but I keep telling her I want nothing to do with them! He (she?) is so weird!

Katie said...

I've never taken my kids to see the Easter bunny, but a few weeks ago while at the mall the bunny happened to walk by us on his way back from his break. I pointed him out to my 4 year old, who's only response was "Oh. I didn't know that was what he looked like."

Anonymous said...

Not sure if you have a Bass Pro Shop near your house but they always have the best Santa and Easter Bunny set up and they take a picture and give it to you for free.

JC in Texas

Bren said...

I don't live by a mall to worry about it but even if I did - there is no WAY I would let my daughter sit on someone's lap whose face I couldn't see. Who knows who might be in that suit!

Heidi said...

Never have, never will. Avoid it like the plague. I will keep my $20 thank you!

Love this post!

Anonymous said...

I had a friend tell their kids that the Easter Bunny in the mall was Santa b/c he was bored. LOL

My kids have never seen the EB either... most look creepy. In fact, one we saw looked like he had downs syndrome (I knownot PC, but it was true!)

Jewelie said...

One word reason why I don't go:
Furries.

I watched a show about Furries and Plushies and (if you don't know, they're people who dress up as animals and have sex with other people dressed as animals, and people who have sex with stuffed animals, respectively.

One of the guys said that it's common for people to have regular giant animal suits so they can turn their um... hobby into cash by posing as easter bunnies, TV characters, etc. The idea that they might be enjoying it makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

I am also going to convince Sophie to never pose with the people in the animal suits as disney.

Susanne said...

I'm probably going to hell for saying this, but I think Easter is creepy in general. It has to be my least favorite holiday.

First you've got someone being nailed to a cross. Then you have someone rising from the dead. And then you have an Easter egg hunt? What? Yeah.

Courtney said...

Hi! I'm Courtney and I have a 6 month old daughter. I just found your blog a couple days ago via a google search for "kidisms". I noticed your prettty darn funny, so I insisted on trying to read all of your blog posts once I realized I had no idea who bus stop mom was. I just finished reading March but I guess I'm going to start from the very beginning. Hope I don't sound like a stalker, lol. Just a bored SAHM.

Cindy said...

Where were you and Mr. Ashley last night at 5pm?

http://wcbstv.com/local/easter.bunny.attacked.2.1605398.html

Cara said...

We don't do the Easter Bunny either because I can't find one that isn't creepy looking.

bugs mom said...

Oh no - no Easter bunny and no Santa, either! I just get regular pictures taken at a studio and pay out the nose for them! :)

Anonymous said...

So, I was very sadly at the mall with 2 - 13 year old girls (I need my own blog for that tale) and a 7 year old. The seven year old very wisely pointed out that the Easter Bunny was a creeper and she wasn't going to sit on a strange man's lap, especially when he was wearing a bunny suit. I told her those were words to live by. Kerry.