I know because it's happened to me five times. FIVE TIMES.
I must be on a list somewhere, right? An "oversharing weirdo" list circulated amongst casting agencies for reality shows and docu-series, which I think is just a sneaky word for reality show.
They are almost always looking for some zany character and I always spend a day or three hoping I'm zany in the same way as the mom from Good Luck Charlie and not the mom from Honey Boo Boo.
Alarmingly, one of the offers was looking for people who were the black sheep of their family. I don't believe I've ever represented myself as the black sheep of my family. So, was someone reading along and decided that my family must hate me? Did my family secretly nominate me? I'll never know, because I didn't respond.
Mr. Ashley almost talked me into considering one once, when a network wanted to fly us out to meet them and promised we'd be portrayed in a positive light. But I don't see why anyone would want to watch a normal family portrayed in a positive light, and I don't believe the kids can consent to something like that so I came to my senses quickly. I can't sell my soul for a free vacation, tempting though it might be. Also, we are incredibly boring. Sometimes I'm bored being me, I cannot imagine watching me be me.
One was a show about unconventional parenting, which was confusing because I don't consider my parenting to be unconventional. Maybe a little on the lazy and whiny side, but not notably so. Not television drama-worthy. Barely even blog-worthy.
Then there was the proposal where I'd go on a reality-style game show to win money for someone who needed it. Um, no. Call me selfish, but if I'm going on a game show, it will be Price is Right and it will be for me. I have wanted to spin that wheel since I was a little kid playing sick to stay home from school.
The most recent offer was intriguing. I won't do it because people can be jerks and I don't want them being the boss of my life but I want one of you to do it because I want to watch:
We are currently on the lookout for a charismatic, fun and expressive person to star in an innovative and socially interactive new series that will result in an adventurous, life-changing and completely unpredictable journey. Whether you’re approaching a significant life moment and unsure of what your world will be like afterwards, or you’re about to experience a new milestone in your life and still have unchartered territory to explore, or you’ve ever wondered what your life would be like if you’d made a different decision, we have the opportunity for you!
Are you at a major crossroads in life?
Have you ever wondered “What if…” about your life?
Do you ever daydream about ‘sliding door’ versions of your life?
Would you ever want to try a new and different kind of life?
~
Maybe you recently turned 30/40 (or are about to), or you recently got a divorce/separation, or you’ve been trying to have kids (or will be in the near future). Maybe once upon a time you moved somewhere for someone, or you gave something up for a relationship, or yousacrificed something of yours for someone else.
Whether you’re approaching a significant life moment and unsure of what your world will be like afterwards, or you’re about to experience a new milestone in your life and still have unchartered territory to explore, we have the opportunity for you!
~
A major cable entertainment network is currently seeking a charismatic, fun and expressive person to star in an innovative and socially interactive new series that will result in an adventurous, life-changing and completely unpredictable journey. This show puts one person’s fate into the hands of opinionated viewers. Having to rely on social media interactions alone, our star’s day-to-day life will be completely dictated by viewers. Every real-life decision – from what they eat to what they wear to who they talk to – will be decided entirely by the network’s highly engaged audience.
Our ideal candidate for this ultimate social experiment is:
: At least 21 years old.
: Someone who is at a major crossroads in life OR someone who thinks their life is missing something despite the appearance of “having it all.”
: Likeable, confident, endearing and relatable.
: Curious and eager to experience all that life has to offer.
: Someone whose life is an open book, who lives life in a big way and who is expressive enough to share every thought and feeling.
: A charming and confident personality along with a fun/funny sense of humor.
: Someone who is at a major crossroads in life OR someone who thinks their life is missing something despite the appearance of “having it all.”
: Likeable, confident, endearing and relatable.
: Curious and eager to experience all that life has to offer.
: Someone whose life is an open book, who lives life in a big way and who is expressive enough to share every thought and feeling.
: A charming and confident personality along with a fun/funny sense of humor.
Interested? Submit your name and contact info to
So there it is. This is not an ad. Just an amusing example of what comes across my inbox and the resulting identity crisis afterwards.
For the fifth time.
One of you should totally do it, though. It could be fun!
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