Sunday, February 8, 2009

Dear Michael Phelps,

You poor, dumb kid.

Not dumb because you smoked some pot, I couldn't care less about that, dumb because you LET SOMEONE PHOTOGRAPH YOU DOING IT.

That was dumb.

Dumb enough that you should lose the Kellogg's endorsement? No. Dumb enough that your local police should be investigating you? Hell no.

How is it that half of baseball is on steroids, but some kid with superhero powers who swims like freaking Aquaman and has feet the size of fins takes a bong hit on some down time and all hell breaks loose?

Should people like Michael Phelps be thrown into jail to protect society? Of course not. If anything, Michael Phelps is a good example of how ridiculous the war on Marijuana is. Smoking pot should be a ticketable offense that carries a heavy fine, and maybe that money could be earmarked for education or something worthwhile.

Do you know why people think Marijuana is a "gateway drug"? Because kids are taught in D.A.R.E. that someone might put a gun to your head to force you to smoke it and become addicted. We're taught that people who smoke it are criminals; bad people who contribute nothing to society. We're taught that smoking it could make you hallucinate and jump from a window, or sell your television to get more.

Then people try it and realize that they've been lied to. That no one is going to hold a gun to your head and force you to smoke some of their weed. That the dangers listed were greatly exaggerated, if not outright lies. Then they think, well maybe "they" were lying about all of the other drugs too.

If we had seen a picture of you doing a keg stand at a party, most of America would have shook their heads and said "Boys being boys", if it was even deemed newsworthy. They'd think "Look at him having some fun after all of his hard work" and moved right along with their lives. No one would have cared.

My advice to you in the future is to avoid cameras at all costs.

My advice to Kelloggs is to get over their damn selves---everyone knows that Frosted Flakes taste better if you're high.

Quite Frankly,


Anonymous said...

Sooo funny, so true! Love it.

KelsyC said...

Woot! Woot! I couldn't agree more!

Trace said...

In all honesty, everyone has a camera these days. Every cell phone carries the capability of catching someone at their worst, funniest, or attempting to be clandestine moment... So, unless he plans on hitting the bong in his bedroom with the blinds tightly drawn, this is bound to happen again unless he just says no.

Judy said...


AmberW said...

All I have to say - is there isn't an athlete out there that has worked as insanely hard as Michael Phelps to achieve what he has. This boy trained like a crazy man and accomplished feats that not many others will!
It's freaking pot.
I am more pissed that some f@cker (probably a "friend" of his) sold him out with that picture. Anything for a pretty penny!

Preppy Pettit said...

Good point!

TuTu's Bliss said...

LOL this is the second pro Phelps post that had me in tears. BTW what does D.A.R.E stand for? So many years ago and the only thing I remember is the bear and the super creepy police man that gave us "the talk".

TuTu's Bliss said...

and please don't shoot the cat!

Carrie said...

I have been thinking pretty much the exact same thing all week. This kid has been under so much pressure and he made a stupid decision in a moment when he was just being a typical college-aged person, just trying to have fun. Probably not his wisest decision ever, but who didn't do dumb things at that age. I hope this doesn't mess things up for him.

Jamiedidit said...

I think Kellogg should offer him more money. "Eat our cereal and you can smoke pot and STILL have the lung capacity to win gold medals in swimming!"

Anonymous said...

While I agree with most of what you said, I have to disagree with your take on the DARE (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) program. As a former DARE Instructor (in Northern CA - where everyone has a 215 card), we teach kids about choices and the consequances of said choices. I supplied my DARE kids with basic health and safety information (the information is regularly updated and is not "greatly exaggerated" nor are they "outright lies") about drugs and alcohol. If you want to take a peek, you could probably get a DARE Planner from a local school.

My lessons were focused on how they could make educated choices about drug use and how they could handle peer pressure.

I never taught my kids people who used drugs - especially marijuana - were criminals or losers, because in all likelihood, mom or dad probably had a grow in the garage. Our discussions centered around individual decisions and what consequences they might face based on the different choices they had. It was not my place as a DARE instructor to judge my kids or their parents, especially when the societal norms in my area of Northern CA, are not that "normal."

The term "gateway" is pretty much an antiquated term and was no where in my lesson plan. I cringe whenever I hear that term associated with DARE!

Phelps needs to remember he's a remodel and the public needs to remember he's still a human. It's just a bummer of a situation all around.

Unknown said...

Well hopefully things have changed then, because when I was in DARE I specifically remember being told in 2nd grade that some drug dealers would force you to smoke pot so you'd become addicted and they'd have a customer.

Anyone who did drugs was always represented as a dark, scary, unpredictable figure who was lurking in dark corners waiting to destroy your life.

It most definitely did more harm than good once kids began to wise up and realize that it simply wasn't true.

If it had been a beer bong he'd probably be getting a Budweiser endorsement. It's also absolutely ludicrous that the police felt the need to investigate. What a waste of time and money.

Anonymous said...

Ashley, I was taught the same stuff too, as a kid and thankfully, DARE instructors wisened up and changed the program! You can't use fear tactics nowadays because kids are way smarter than that. And, our drugs are way different than what they were when we were kids. Higher THC content, "normal" drugs laced with chemicals, it's so scary.

Joy said...

Oh yea this is totally BS of all the dangers in this world, they have the time to investigate him hitting a bong-how stupid.

Don't u know he's putting a hit out on who ever took that pic and sold it!

queenstella said...

It probably wasn't even quality weed.

Sassy Cass said...

Ash, you are so right. Poor guy just trying to let off a little steam got ska-rewed. Seriously there is so much worse he could have done. I still can't figure out why pot is illegal if alcohol is legal. Drunk people do way dumber stuff. Kelloggs is sitting on a gold mine if the capitalize on cereal as a good way to satisfy the munchies.

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

Amen sister! If they jail him, will they also jail everyone from that tragic (and yet when on I cannot look away!) show on VH1 with washed up "stars" who are in rehab? I've seen half of them use drugs (while in rehab ironically....chew on that for a while) on TV. I would rather police deal with people who don't pick up their dog poop on the side walk or who park their car in no parking zones. My own personal world would be happier....and its all about me, right??

Anonymous said...

Amen, Amen, Amen...And can I get a Halleluia!

And when is your book coming out????

Anonymous said...

I think I'll send Kellogg's an email declaring that if they drop M.P., I'll be turning to General Mills for all of my munchie needs.

Let this be a lesson to the kids of America: HIDE IT BETTER!



Mel said...

Yeah, yeah, it's illegal, and he shouldn't have been doing it, blah, blah, blah. I just can't get as peeved over Michael Phelps smoking pot as baseball players lying about taking performance enhancing drugs. He is the real deal, world's best swimmer. No cheating required. But he is also a young kid in college, and very obviously human. Should he lose his contracts? I guess if the company decides they should drop him, it is their choice to make. Will aspiring champion swimmers still be able to look at Michael Phelps in admiration and awe? Definitely.

Maddness of Me said...

We can smoke pot legally here in Michigan now. For medicinal purposes.


M said...

True that!!!

Preach on :)

Seriously it just shows how screwed our society is.

Has anyone seen the representative who wants to ban "ninja" cell phone picture takers. Like seriously make it a law and fine people for taking pics on their cell or whatever without the consent of the subject.

Apparently war and the economy are old news in Washington.

Tahoe Girl said...

My kids can look up to Michael Phelps, bong hits and all, cause seriously if that's all they do I will consider myself pretty damn lucky! There are so many more horrible things out there that they can get into. Atleast weed is organic!;)