Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Letting Go

Big Kid just came up to me with a piece of paper and said, "I need you to make a big, colorful sign dat says "Come back Fluffy!" all in capital letters, big 'nuff for a butterfly to read."

Worn out and reluctant to believe we were still stuck on the butterfly release, I sighed.

"Big Kid, Fluffy is out there living a wonderful butterfly life. Tasting different flowers, meeting new friends, maybe having a family, flying around and seeing the world. You did the right thing by letting her go."

"It doesn't feel like da right fing!" he burst out, sobbing. "I want her back! It feels like a boring old fing now, I wish I had never done it. She was mine. I miss her so bad."

"I'm sorry, babe. I really am. It's a fact of life though. If you kept her as a pet, she would have died young, because butterflies have to live butterfly lives. She would have had a sad, short life just so you could keep her. But by letting her go, she gets to go be what she was meant to be."

More sobbing. "It's not right. It's dest not fair. She's not happy. She has no idea where I am. We don't live by my school. She'll never find us."

I then had to explain that life wasn't fair and point out that it was bed time, which led to even more crying and complaining.

Who knew Fluffy made such an impact? I feel bad for him but damn, enough is enough. I don't really know what else to say or do about it.

18 comments:

Funny in my mind said...

It is heartbreaking to hear him talk about the butterfly, but how weird would it be if she just showed up in the yard?
Mine had a love affair with a snail and it got stepped on by grandpa and he made her a grave and a poem and it went on for weeks.
He will move on to other things.
Eventually.

Cara said...

Awwww poor big kid. He sounds like my big kid. Last week it was a lizard that was caught inside the house and how come it couldn't live with us forever. The week before it was a crawfish.

denise said...

i'm sure fluffy can be replaced. is there a butterfly store you can hit up? poor bk.

Heather said...

awe he is so sensitive and sweet. your explanation was perfect though.

maybe a new butterfly garden for home where he can raise them and release them in your yard?

Anonymous said...

He named a butterfly Fluffy?

Slack said...

I think Big Kid might need to read "Hope for the Flowers" by Trina Paulus. Excellent book and maybe he'll feel better about Fluffy.

Michelle said...

awwww. Big kid has such a soft heart. Such a sweet smart wonderful child. I wish you could protect him his whole life from anything painful, but that's just not how life works does it?

Juggle Jane said...

OH man - that just breaks my heart! But I love your explanation...a great life lesson.

Amo said...

I'm with anonymous here. Where did "Fluffy" come from?

No helpful advice here, I am the proud new momma of a grasshopper...not sure what to do about that one.

Bren said...

It's really sweet that he became so attached to Fluffy. Good way to explain it to him. Hopefully Fluffy is out there livin it up!

Gram said...

the butterfly garden is a great idea. Even if you just put out one plant it might help. My poor baby! (BK-not you)

Mom

Anonymous said...

We had the same experience with my daughter's caterpillar named Teeny.

Jess said...

Hey, I have "Hope for the flowers". The Renee gave it to me. I love that book! I bet it would help Big Kid.

I would also suggest another butterfly, or setting up a butterfly garden in your yard to attract butterflies, but those are more work. The book is less work, and may do the trick.

So sorry for Big Kid, and so sorry for you.

Jennifer said...

Aw man, that is one of those hard life lessons. We had to find a new home for our dog and I thought Baby Girl was going to die. She never played with the dog. She wouldn't even go in the back yard with her, but she was sure sad to see her go.

Sorry I don't have any additional advice. I did the same things you did with an added, "maybe we can get another one some day...."

Tendrils said...

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. He's such a sweetheart!

leni said...

Aww.

because I said so said...

have you ever seen one of these?
http://www.amazon.com/Insect-Lore-1010-Butterfly-Garden/dp/B00000ISC5/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=toys-and-games&qid=1242926474&sr=8-1

Big One had one and it was amazing.

Although, that might exacerbate the problem....just a thought

Trace said...

Ashley, order him some caterpillars and he can watch them morph and change...then he can let them all go. Maybe if he gets used to it, it will not be as hard. You can get a butterfly house for pretty cheap, and we order our caterpillars from butterflynursery.com. My boys love it- and so do I...maybe even more than they do!