Tuesday, May 12, 2009

A trip to the book store

I kept Big Kid home from school today because he has a runny nose.

He's convinced he has Swine Flu. When Mr. Ashley told him it probably wasn't, he said that it felt like Swine Flu to him and he didn't know what else it could be. I don't know what I was thinking when I told him about Swine Flu.

I needed to run out to the book store to get a couple of cancer books, so we went to the Books a Million down the street, with strict instructions not to ask me to buy them anything and bribery for good behavior.

It is a very fancy, brand new, two story Books a Million. I have a major escalator phobia, but decided to go ahead and get on it because the kids were curious about it and I don't want them to feel scared of escalators. On the way up, we were fine. Big Kid went on ahead of me, stood still with his hand on the handrail and his feet in the middle. I held little kid's hand and we shared a step. Big Kid was a little nervous when it was time to dismount, but he did it (with a leap).

Soon enough, it was time to go down. Big Kid told me he felt scared and I told him not to be silly (I felt scared too). With two books in one hand, I told him to take my hand and I'd tell him when to step and then I'd let go and get on behind him with little kid.

He panicked and walked right on, which was fine, he was safely on a step. So I went to let go of his hand and he got scared and wouldn't let me go. I couldn't just walk onto the escalator because little kid was standing by my side and I didn't have a hand to get him. It was a miniature Sophie's Choice moment there on the stairs as Big Kid traveled away from me. I tried harder to get him to let go of me and he lifted his feet off of the steps, basically forcing me to drag him up 4 growing stairs or tumble down the escalator myself. It was a slow-mo sort of moment for me, but I guarantee there was shrieking and yelling involved. People were staring.

Feet finally on firm ground again, he said, "I'm never goin' on a escalator ever again. Never." I tried to assure him that he was fine, he just got confused which was common for new escalator users, and that for now we'd go on the elevator (which are 2nd to escalators on my list of general fears). We boarded the elevator and I could tell he was embarrassed, so I was trying to explain how the whole situation had been my fault and how no one even noticed.

That is when little kid pressed the alarm button.

There was more shrieking and yelling. We rode the rest of the way down in tense silence and when the doors opened, people were staring.

All of that for two books. It is always an adventure.

Next time we'll take the stairs.


Mandy Mae said...

Oh, that gave me a MUCH needed chuckle this afternoon. Thanks!

Unknown said...

What a comedy of errors...I, too, got a little giggle out of it.
I share your fear of elevators and I'm not too keen on escalators, either. I have a difficult time maneuvering on and off of them. Actually, the only reason that I find them less intimidating than an elevator is that at least if the escalator stops while I'm on it, I can still walk off. Yikes!

The things that we do to avoid stairs. :-P

Stereos and Souffles said...

Amazon.com could be your new best friend.Wholly hell the alarm button, there wouldn't be enough deodorant in the world to keep me dry during that outing.

Jennifer said...

When I was in elementary school my aunt had to go to Austin to take her test to get her beautician (that's what they were called back in the day) license. Her and my uncle took me along. Probably to keep my cousin occupied.

While my aunt was taking her test, my uncle took me and my cousin to the capitol for a tour. We had been there a while and I kept seeing people pressing the hold button when we were getting on and off the elevator. So the next time we got on I wanted to be helpful so I pushed what I thought everyone else had been doing.... but it wasn't the hold button. It was the alarm.

My uncle was mortified. Needless to say we left right after that. AND I've never accidentally pushed the alarm button again.

Maddness of Me said...

Definitely don't tell him what happens to people who wear Crocs on escalators. It will traumatize him for life. I know it traumatized me.

Joy said...

Too funny

My sister once got her shoe lace pulled into a escalator and it ripped her shoe off her foot and I mean litteraly ripped it. So there I just added to your anxiety:)

Julie said...

Ashley, is grandma behind your fear of escalators? She used to tell me if I didn't tie my shoes that my laces would get stuck and I'd be pulled into the escalator. I'm sorry to hear that this fear has been passed onto another generation! Shaking my fists at shirley. LOL

Unknown said...

Julie, Grandma was the smartest one in our family. It only makes sense that I would inherit some of that intelligence. ;-)

Kimberly, a kid in my town got his Croc stuck in the Miami Airport escalator and broke his foot and his parents are suing for $6 million (idiots). little kid was wearing Crocs and Big Kid had flip flops on, so that intensified my anxiety.

PaperCourt said...

That sounds like something that would happen to me.

Tara said...

Taking children out in public is like herding cats. Try it with 3 young ones and a mouthy teenager. This is why I drink.

Can't wait to hear how you met your neighbor! lol!