Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Let the record show

Century Link (formerly known as Embarq) sucks donkey balls.

I thought 10 days was a little extreme for setting up residential internet service, but whatever, I was mostly patient about it. I was extra annoyed when I called to confirm our appointment time and they said they didn't need one, that someone would be out before 7pm and would turn it on from the outside somewhere. 10 days for someone to show up outside and flip a switch or something? Oh, but it would be faster if I had a super expensive business line? But I don't, so you can't? Oh, alright.

Then on March 8th, I was excited to see that my home phone worked and then sad to see that my internet modem/router thingy did not. DO NOT CALL THEM UNTIL 7pm ON ACTIVATION DAY the "your shit doesn't work" screen told me, so I didn't.

At 7:15...still didn't work. At 7:20 I figured out that they close at 7 (so basically they're just making sure they don't have to deal with you or your issues until the next morning). At 7:35, I went to bed. At 7:45 the next morning, Mr. Ashley reported that they acted as if they were doing us a big favor by coming out the next day. I cried a little that morning.

(They said the 8th!! NOT the 10th!! There is A LOT you cannot do without the internet, people. I was a trouper about the whole thing for a while there but there's only so much a person can take. My personal limit was exceeded on the 8th.)

Today the appointment was between 10:45 and 12:45. At 10:45, I looked out the window and saw their van so I locked the dogs up. I looked out the window again and saw the guy on his cell phone in my driveway, I figured he was finishing a call and would knock shortly. I looked out one moment later and he was gone! I ran out to the driveway and he was turning around at the end of my street. I waved him down.

"Your internet not working?"


"I knocked and you didn't answer. I was going to fix it."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you. You may have knocked as I was putting the dogs up. But you can come on--"

"Our appointment was at 10:45," he said, sort of staring at me as if he was planning on leaving now that it was 10:50.

"Between 10:45 and 12:45, so I didn't know when for sure...that's why I was putting the dogs away though, because you were coming. I just didn't hear you knock or I..."

"Look, I'm not about to argue about it," he interrupted, as if he would very much like to argue about it.

ARGUE ABOUT WHAT? I wasn't being argumentative but now that you mention it, you should have knocked twice, asshole, or tried ringing the bell. I have a hard time believing that with the blinds up, the dogs barking, my kids running through the house fighting with each other, me standing right near the front window, with the television on and my car in the driveway, that we were giving off the appearance of not being home.

I wanted to murder him but I needed my internet, so I let him continue breathing.

"Oh no no, me neither. No, I'm really sorry. Can you please come in?"

He did come in (minus the attitude) and he fixed it, but they all (Century Link/Embarq/That guy) are definitely on my list of evil-doers now.

So when we think back to this dark period of Ashley's Closet history (have I ever left you all for so long? I'm really asking--I don't think I have) we can blame Century Link, formerly known as Embarq, and their stellar lack of customer service.

I think it goes without saying that they won't be invited on the Ashley's Closet cruise.


Lin said...

Ugh, how frustrating! I hate it when they get their attitude & make it seem like they're doing you the's your job to fix it moron!

At least you have internet now, YAY!

Cindy said...

ah-donkey. ah-balls. !!!

Welcome back!


Howdydoody'swife said...

Welcome back!

Melanie said...

So glad you are back! My life has been a little darker, a little sadder without you. Glad you have Internet too! Life is not remotely the same without it.

Colleen said...

Hmmm, our "local" phone/internet carrier just went from Centurytel to CenturyLink. You are not making me feel good about this new marriae....

Katie said...

Glad you're back. For the record, Charter sucks donkey balls, too, as I once received a phone call telling me that the technician had rung my doorbell and no one answered, when, in fact, I was standing at the window watching him sit in his van.

Jennifer said...

Asshats. All of them.

Glad you're back.

Joy said...

well as long as they take all the people from Emachines with them! U have heard of my severe hatred of everything emachines right?

Jamie said...

I am SOOOOOO glad you are back!!! I was going through Ashley withdrawals!! :)

Monica said...

Missed you!!! So glad your back and I am very jealous of all your appliances.

Julie H said...

What a dick head!

CenturyLinkJoey said...


My name is Joey and I'm with CenturyLink. I am sorry to read about the trouble you had getting your internet hooked up. I'm glad to see that everything is up and running now. I would be glad to investigate this issue for you to see what we can do to improve your experience with CenturyLink. If my team can help, please let us know. You can email us at We take our customer's feedback very seriously and hopefully we can learn from your experience to avoid similar issues in the future.


Joey H.
CenturyLink Customer Outreach

Jesse said...

OH THANK GOD!!!! You're back!!! Hooray. You have no idea how hard this has been on me. :)

Stereos and Souffles said...

I'm gonna need the dates for the cruise...I've got my calender here in front of me and it's filling up fast.

Unknown said...

Joey, I appreciate the comment and will take you personally (but only you) off of the "die in a fire" list. If Century Link responded to service calls as quickly as they do to internet complaints, they'd be awesome!

CenturyLinkJoey said...

Hey that works for me. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. My contact info is above. Hope you have a good week!