Big Kid: Sometimes, when I ams at school, just sittin' at my table, doin' my work and stuff, Leo says some fings dat I do not wike.
Ashley: What does Leo say?
Big Kid: He always says I am a gwurl. I am not a gwurl, I am a boy.
Ashley: Well yeah, you're a boy. Why does he say that?
Big Kid: I don't know. He says it and says it.
Ashley: What do you say to him when he says that?
Big Kid: Dat I am not a gwurl, I am just a boy darn it. Because darn it isn't nasty. (Something he feels the need to confirm once a day. Maybe The Jews think it's nasty? I'm fine with it)
Ashley: Do you tell one of the teachers?
Big Kid: No.
Ashley: Why not? You're a total tattletale at home.
Big Kid: Not at school dough. But today, Leo said that I'm too wittle for pwe-k.
Ashley: You are not too little for pre-k! You're as big as Leo, aren't you? (Big Kid is the youngest and probably the smallest in his class, but he's not freakishly small or anything)
Big Kid: He's taller but I got better muscles because I eat all my begetables and stuffs. I told him dat too.
Ashley: Do you think Leo is just being silly or do you think he's being mean?
Big Kid: He's bein' mean. I told him to stop, darn it. It's okay to say darn it.
Sooooo, I was going to drop the whole cupcake rivalry I've got going on with Leo's mom but it's ON now. Which kind of sucks because I already volunteered to make THESE (thanks for pointing them out, sweet readers) for the mom's group Christmas party, which was already an Overachiever moment since 70 people rsvp'd for it. Because I'm not a little bit busy or anything, with Christmas going on (apparently still on the 25th since I'm seeing no momentum behind my movement to change the date) and this full time freaking business I had to go and start. Damn.
So now I'll be making them for the mom's group and the winter break party, both on Friday. What I'm really going to do is get unfrosted frozen cupcakes from publix and just decorate them. Because I'm an evil genius like that. That's what I did for the birthday cupcakes too. Same difference.
I'll also be asking Ms. Sharon what the hell is up with Leo. Maybe his mother needs to spend less time making cupcakes and more time on teaching that little barbarian some manners. He's obviously just jealous of Big Kid's intelligence, good looks and charm but still, it's just unacceptable.
I'll be making sure I give Leo the Evil Eye when I go in there from now on. It's on. Him and his mom and their cupcakes are going down.
Wish me luck.