Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Declaring War

Big Kid: Sometimes, when I ams at school, just sittin' at my table, doin' my work and stuff, Leo says some fings dat I do not wike.

Ashley: What does Leo say?

Big Kid: He always says I am a gwurl. I am not a gwurl, I am a boy.

Ashley: Well yeah, you're a boy. Why does he say that?

Big Kid: I don't know. He says it and says it.

Ashley: What do you say to him when he says that?

Big Kid: Dat I am not a gwurl, I am just a boy darn it. Because darn it isn't nasty. (Something he feels the need to confirm once a day. Maybe The Jews think it's nasty? I'm fine with it)

Ashley: Do you tell one of the teachers?

Big Kid: No.

Ashley: Why not? You're a total tattletale at home.

Big Kid: Not at school dough. But today, Leo said that I'm too wittle for pwe-k.

Ashley: You are not too little for pre-k! You're as big as Leo, aren't you? (Big Kid is the youngest and probably the smallest in his class, but he's not freakishly small or anything)

Big Kid: He's taller but I got better muscles because I eat all my begetables and stuffs. I told him dat too.

Ashley: Do you think Leo is just being silly or do you think he's being mean?

Big Kid: He's bein' mean. I told him to stop, darn it. It's okay to say darn it.

Sooooo, I was going to drop the whole cupcake rivalry I've got going on with Leo's mom but it's ON now. Which kind of sucks because I already volunteered to make THESE (thanks for pointing them out, sweet readers) for the mom's group Christmas party, which was already an Overachiever moment since 70 people rsvp'd for it. Because I'm not a little bit busy or anything, with Christmas going on (apparently still on the 25th since I'm seeing no momentum behind my movement to change the date) and this full time freaking business I had to go and start. Damn.

So now I'll be making them for the mom's group and the winter break party, both on Friday. What I'm really going to do is get unfrosted frozen cupcakes from publix and just decorate them. Because I'm an evil genius like that. That's what I did for the birthday cupcakes too. Same difference.

I'll also be asking Ms. Sharon what the hell is up with Leo. Maybe his mother needs to spend less time making cupcakes and more time on teaching that little barbarian some manners. He's obviously just jealous of Big Kid's intelligence, good looks and charm but still, it's just unacceptable.

I'll be making sure I give Leo the Evil Eye when I go in there from now on. It's on. Him and his mom and their cupcakes are going down.

Wish me luck.


Judy said...

You picked a winner - we're going with the snowment for our Bake-Off entry at Cub Scouts Thursday night. We're doing them on a cake and adding green frosted sugar cones for trees and a blue pond of fruit roll up to boot.

LOVE those snowmen! Go get em!

Lyssa said...

I hate when this happens with the kids. It breaks my heart. But be warned - next year Big Kid and Leo could be best friends. It happened with my kid and his nemesis. Kids do not understand the magical hold of a lifelong grudge against someone...yet.

Those snowman cupcakes are AWESOME! Leo's Mom can kiss her ass good-bye!

Amy said...

The snowmen are really cute! I'm wondering if I'll have time for that...need to farm out some more to-do list to hubs.

I love Big Kid stories! I love the way he talks. It makes me want to hug him (and pinch that Leo kid).

Avery Gray said...

I have a feeling my son is going to be one of those picked on kids. He's just so darn sensitive! Hope Big Kid's teacher can put the kibosh on the teasing. After all, that's what she makes the big bucks for, right?

Rebecca said...

We were watching Little Bill yesterday and there was an episode just like this (well, minus cupcake wars). Little Bill's dad (I guess he's be Big Bill....) told Little Bill that anytime someone says something not true and mean like that just to laugh at them and say "SOOOOOO"

It makes no sense when I do it...but it was cute on Little Bill.

Anonymous said...

I hate the mean kids my son came home and told me some kid pushed him down on the playground and I thought hubby was gonna go to the school hunt him down and beat him up himself! Maybe Leo shouldn't get a cupcake.

BTW you will be the best mom now with those cupcakes. I secretly love being the best mom I totally rocked the teachers gifts-mine were the best I was there I saw the others.


Ms. Skywalker said...

"Him and his mom and their cupcakes are going down".

Yes, they are.

And it may be a humble servant's foot that sends them on their merry way.

Anonymous said...

I should tell you "it builds character", but mean little boys suck. We dealt with one last year.

Give him a nasty hairy eyeball with some scary raised eyebrow thrown in as well as the occaisonal evil head tilt. Just do NOT let the teacher or his mother catch you.

I'm glad he talked to you about it - you're a great Mom!

~Gretchen~ said...

when one of my girls tells the other some mean crap, i tell the other one to respond with, 'you're hallucinating.'

initially, it sounded more like 'you're ha-loser-ating' but they have had so much practice lately that it is now more like 'you're lucinating'