Sunday, December 9, 2007

Today I Have

-Wrestled 4 ornaments away from little kid to put them back on the tree
-Have cleaned up 2 broken ornaments
-Mopped up one pile of cat puke
-Done 11 Super Hugs
-Turned down 9 other Super Hugs
-Put away play food
-Retrieved lettuce, Subway leftovers, a tomato, 2 pieces of cheese and a carton of eggs from little kid and put them back in the fridge (all separate occasions)
-Yelled at little kid 17 times about being in the fridge
-Made up 2 long rambling, oddly detailed, kind of funny stories with Big Kid
-Rescued Mr. Ashley's camera from little kid
-Picked up the contents of 4 files that little kid threw all over the room
-Threw away one ripped up magazine
-Stopped little kid from putting a screw in his ear
-Found one miniature ornament in little kid's mouth
-Caught little kid with the stapler
-Put little kid in time out 4 times
-Answered 972 questions
-Put 3 toys in timeout on top of the fridge
-Shouted "DON'T BE A TATTLETALE" to Big Kid 7-9 times
-Folded laundry
-Folded laundry again when little kid unfolded it as soon as I turned my back
-Cleaned out silverware drawer
-Retrieved ladles, serving spoons and turkey basters from little kid's room
-Unsuccessfully tried to sneak M&Ms into my mouth undetected
-Surrendered my M&Ms to the vultures
-Thwarted little kid's attempt to eat a penny
-Removed little kid from the laundry room 3 times
-Attempted to reinforce the baby gate 4 times
-Put away play food
-Begged for quiet time on 6 different occasions
-Tried to start dinner and gave up
-Put away play food
-Yanked a pen away from little kid
-Played referee to 4 fights
-Threatened the dog's life for continuous whining
-Caught little kid making phone calls 3 times
-Removed little kid from the dishwasher 4 times (the new dishwasher, since the old one unexpectedly died yesterday.)
-Said "Of course you can both sit on my lap" 7 times
-Asked for just a little breathing room 8 times
-Reprimanded Big Kid for tripping little kid on purpose
-Put away play food
-Reminded little kid not to touch my computer 12 times (I just got up after typing this to figure out which cat is locked in which room so I can stop being tortured with the incessant pawing at the door and sure enough, came back and found the little turd pounding on my keys)
-Took aluminum foil away from little kid (got to find a way to keep him out of pantry)
-Put up more Christmas decorations
-Told little kid to stay out of Tupperware tubs of decorations 16 times
-Played peek-a-boo 33 times

and Mr. Ashley wonders why I'm tired? I don't care if he did spend all day in the sun clearing our yard with Taco, my parents' house boy. My day was way harder. I am totally exhausted and counting the nanoseconds until bedtime. They have worn me down mentally and physically and frankly, at this point I'd let them juggle knives for a little peace and quiet around here.


Renee said...

This makes me exhausted just reading it. What a day! It's like those 2 are scheming behind your back, tag team style.

k e r r y said...

Your day makes me tired. So what do you do to unwind from a day like this?

Lyssa said...

Are you sure you weren't at my house? Sounds EXACTLY like my kids!

Unknown said...

Are you kidding? I was tired just reading that. Sounds like you need some sort of fridge lock or a shock collar on that kid. Holy hell... :)

Deb said...

I have attempted three times to catalog my day, because this is precisely how it goes (minus 1 Big Kid + Four Large Canines), and by the second hour, I totally lose track of all the crap I've done. Nicely audited.

WHY do we buy play food for these kids? I'm soooo effing tired of cleaning up play food.

Amy said...

Taco needs to help you instead of Mr. Ashley.

Anonymous said...

Hubbie will never get what being home all day with kids will do to the normally sane person! Your account made me laugh!

clemsongirlandthecoach said...

1. It gets SOOO much easier, mine are 24 months apart and I thought I might kill myself when they were that age. 5 and 7 is EASY! You'll get there, I promise.

2. Have you put a "spinny thing" child lock- dealie on the pantry door?

3. Did the ohmybod every come in for your "friend?" She might need to use it this afternoon...

Anonymous said...

This should be required reading in all high school sex ed classes.

Hell, it makes ME want to be abstinent!

Kate said...

This post reminds me of:

1. Why I am willing to pay for daycare
2. Why I am so over having more kids
3. That work is truly an 8 hour "break"

Sit on the couch, have Mr. Ashley rub your feet while you consume a nice, relaxing adult beverage of your choice. Of course, there is always option 2 - drug said offspring with benadryl for a nice afternoon naptime (I'm kidding, of course!!! Well, mostly)

Sarahviz said...

You totally need fridge locks, doorknob covers and latches for your cabinets. My 6 year old can maneuver them (damn smartypants) but the toddlers? Yes, they are deterred! It's heaven.

~Gretchen~ said...

see, you're missing the line where you read my blog for hours while sipping white wine and laughing hysterically.

i'm just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

Just discovered your blog... it was sent to me by a dear friend and I LOVE IT!!! This post is priceless.

Stacy said...

I can relate so much. I have an almost 4 yr old motor mouth daughter and a busy body 14 mth old son. One never shuts up and the other one is constantly into something. I just went back to work recently and I'm about to beg for overtime ;) Reading your day is tiring but I can relate!!