I forgot to tell you all that Friday after the doctor's appointment was Big Kid's Hanukkah program at school. Somehow I lost an hour (there may have been shopping involved) and raced into the auditorium just as his class was filing out. I felt really bad but luckily, I don't think he knew I wasn't there all along and honestly, I doubt he knew the words since he missed the week before. And face it, we're not Jews. I wouldn't have known what they were talking about anyway.
So afterwards there was a Hanukkah party in each of the classrooms. We're all standing around, eating our Latkes and admiring the Hanukkah decor when the teacher says, "Everyone save room for dessert. Leo's mom made cupcakes!"
Okay. Annoying, especially since I specifically asked if I could bring anything, but whatever. Then one of the little brats shouts "LEO'S MOM IS THE BEST!" and the rest of them all follow suit, cheering and smiling. Big Kid looks right at me and said "Leo's mom's the best. She made us cupcakes."
Um, Leo's mom can kiss my ass. Does Leo's mom make Bento lunches? Did Leo's mom have a snow cone machine at his birthday party? Can Leo's mom make cupcakes that look like little buckets of popcorn? Did she hot glue his little brother's Halloween costume together? Take him on a kick ass Disney vacation with his best friend? Does she make mummy dogs? Reindeer food? Have we forgotten about those fucking turkey cookies I got no glory for? She's got nothing on me.
I look over at her, instantly recognizing that self satisfied little smirk for what it is. She's cute and skinny, appeared friendly. We probably could've been friends had she not tried to replace me as The Coolest Mom in the Class.
So now I have to think of something really cool, holiday related but Jew friendly, that the kids will love that I can bring to upstage her for the winter break party. Does anyone have any ideas? Because you know and I know and the teachers know that I'm the Coolest Mom in the Class but Leo's mom needs to know and the brats need to be reminded, apparently.