The other day Big Kid told me that there were some boys who were being mean to him. "You think you're so fancy but you're not," he sneered in an imitation of them.
"They call you...fancy?" Oh no, I thought, my mind racing. In first grade? Isn't that a weird adjective for first graders to use?
"They're all, you wish you were a fancy pants but you're blahblahblah" as he went on I tried to figure out what was going on here. Is this what happens when your first grader takes violin lessons and you don't send him to school in light-up shoes and shirts with Spongebob screenprinted across the front? Is this my fault?
"Well, they sound kind of mean. What do you say back to them? Have you mentioned it to your teacher?"
"I say 'I don't eben wanna be in your stoopid Fancy Pants club!' But I really do."
"Wait, aren't they the ones calling you Fancy Pants?"
"No, they are the Fancy Pants! And won't let me be one!"
"...they call themselves the 'Fancy Pants Club'? They are the Fancy Pants and you cannot call yourself a Fancy Pants? This is the problem?"
Snorting back laughter, "You do not want to be in their Fancy Pants club. Trust me, years from now you are going to see the humor in this and will be glad you weren't in their club."
"I don't feel like it now." He looked sad.
"Big Kid...a boy's club called the 'Fancy Pants'? What kind of name is that? It sounds like a club for grandmas!"
"It is kind of weird..." he agreed.
I'm sure I've created a situation where Big Kid will now point out how much their club name sucks, but I couldn't let the irony of a group of first grade bullies calling themselves the "Fancy Pants" go unnoticed.